Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8

1. A Call to Arms
2. The Bare Witch Project
3. Cheaper by the Coven
4. Charrrmed!
5. Styx Feet Under
6. Once in a Blue Moon

7. Someone to Witch Over Me
8. Charmed Noir
9. There's Something About Leo
10. Witchness Protection
11. Ordinary Witches
12. Extreme Makeover: World Edition

13. Charmageddon
14. Carpe Demon
15. Show Ghouls
16. The Seven Year Witch
17. Scry Hard
18. Little Box of Horrors

19. Freaky Phoebe
20. Imaginary Fiends
21. Death Becomes Them
22. Something Wicca This Way Goes...?

Written by: Mark Wilding

Season 7, Episode 19

Episode: 153

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Kitchen]

(Leo is on his hands and knees cleaning up the spilled food from under the baby high chair.) (Paige walks into the kitchen.)

Paige: Leo, I need your help.

Leo: Why, what's the matter?

(Leo turns and looks at Paige. He gets to his feet with the mess.)

Paige: The Elders have assigned me a charge.

Leo: Paige, that's great.

(He heads over to the sink.)

Paige: No, actually. It's not great. You have to help me get out of this.

(He puts the tray and the mess into the sink. He turns to look at Paige.)

Leo: You can't get out of it. You're a whitelighter.

Paige: I'm also, like, a chick in her twenties who'd like to have a life. I don't have time for this.

Leo: You're nervous.

(Paige sighs as she puts her head in her hand, resting her elbows on the counter.)

Paige: (groans) Oh, I'm just busy. (beat) All right, fine. Maybe I'm a little nervous.

(Leo is clearing the table.)

Leo: You know what? It used to happen to me all the time before I met my first charge. (Paige straightens and looks at Leo.) It's a good thing. It means you don't want to let him down.

Paige: Or maybe I'm just not ready.

Leo: Trust me, you're ready.

Paige: Yeah? Then ... why don't you tell that to my stomach? Because it really hurts right now.

Leo: Look, here, try this.

(Leo picks up a plate with some toast on it. Paige picks up a slice.)

Paige: Toast?

Leo: Yeah. It helps calm the butterflies.

Paige: You've been a Whitelighter for ... sixty years, and toast is what you got for it?

(Leo starts gathering the various breakfast items off the counter.)

Leo: Well, it's not like you haven't had charges before, Paige, okay?

(Paige takes a bite of toast.)

Paige: (muffled) Right. Okay, fine. But ... I always had Piper and Phoebe to back me up. (Leo puts the items in the fridge.) All right? Now, I'll be solo. (She takes a deep breath) What if I fail?

Leo: You won't fail.

Paige: That's easy for you to say 'cause you have a job. (Leo shuts the fridge door.) You got your wife. You got your kids. You got ... breakfast. If I make a mistake, someone knows.

Leo: You done?

Paige: Yeah. How'd you know?

Leo: Toast and venting, works every time.

Paige: Yeah. (reluctantly) Guess I could try.

Leo: I know you can do it. Good luck.

Paige: Thank you.

(She puts the toast down, sighs and orbs out.)

(Leo goes back to cleaning up the kitchen.)

[Scene: San Francisco. Street]

(Open on Michael Haines getting a morning hot dog from a sidewalk vendor.)

Vendor: Here.

Mitchell Haines: Thanks a lot.

(As he leaves, he pauses. Paige orbs in right behind a nearby newspaper stand. He turns, sees her and rolls his eyes, less than thrilled at her presence.)

(Paige walks out.)

Paige: Mitchell Haines?

Mitchell Haines: Yeah.

Paige: Hi. I'm, uh -- (glances around) -- your new whitelighter. Paige

Matthews. Nice to meet y-you.

(She holds out her hand, but it's obvious that he's not happy to see her. At all.) Mitchell Haines: Not interested.

(He brushes past her and walks down the sidewalk, trying to ignore her.)

Paige: But you can't just walk away from me.

Mitchell Haines: No? Watch me.

(He lifts the hot dog to his nose, but suddenly, he's not interested in eating

anymore. He tosses the hot dog into the nearby trash without breaking his


Paige: Aren't you at least going to hear me out?

Mitchell Haines: Let me guess. (He stops and turns around to look at her.) That I'm a witch with great powers? You can help bring them out for me? Master them?

Paige: Well, yeah.

Mitchell Haines: I don't want your help.

(He turns to leave. Paige rushes forward to block his path.)

Paige: Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Look. I know you've had

some problems in the past, but maybe you just haven't had the right person help

you. Namely me.

Mitchell Haines: My last Whitelighter said the same thing. They ever send

anybody who hasn't read the Elder playbook.

Paige: I'm not just anybody, okay? I am a Charmed One. I ran magic school for a year, and I'm a whitelighter. Hello, triple-threat. Where are you going to find somebody with that kind of experience?

Mitchell: Good. You can use it to help your next charge.

(Mitchell walks past her and leaves. Paige turns around watching him go, incredulous with his stubborn attitude.)

[Scene: P3]

(From outside, we hear the sounds of blasting and vanquishing.)

(Piper waves her hands, blasting the demon in front of her. He explodes.)

(Behind her, another demon steps out holding a fireball in his hand. Piper

turns around and he throws it at her. She duck; the fireball hits the wall

behind her.)

(Piper holds her hands up.)

Piper: Okay. Wait, listen. (The demon stops to listen.) New rule. I will not tolerate demon activity in my house or in my club. Got it?

(She waves her hands and blasts him.)

(Another demon, Lantos, appears in the club just as Paige also orbs into the club. Paige sees him. She looks around.)

Paige: Uh, barstool!

(She orbs the barstool, throwing it at Lantos. It hits him, knocking him over.)

(Lantos looks at Piper, then shimmers out. Piper waves her hand, her blast just barely catching him as he disappears.)

(Paige walks over to Piper.)

Paige: Are you okay?

Piper: (sighs) Yeah. I'm fine.

Paige: What the hell do you think they wanted?

Piper: (looks around) I have no clue.

Paige: At least you're okay.

(Piper sees something, her gaze settling somewhere off screen.)

Piper: Yeah, but he's not.

(Just outside the open back door is the delivery boy unconscious on the ground

near his hand truck full with cases of beer.)

(Camera holds on Paige and Piper.)

[Scene: P3]

(The paramedics roll out the delivery boy on a gurney. The officer at the scene talks with Piper and Paige.)

Officer: He has a concussion, needs a few stitches, but otherwise he's fine.

Piper: Oh, thank god.

Paige: Did he say whether, you know, he'd seen anything?

Officer: He was hit from behind. Last thing he remembers was loading a case of beer from his hand truck.

Piper: Oh, that was good. I mean, you know, that he remembers something because that probably means he doesn't have any brain damage.

Officer: Well, stick around. The detective's going to need to take a statement.

(The officer turns to talk with another person. Paige and Piper step aside.)

Paige: Probably doesn't have any 'brain damage'? Smooth, Piper, real smooth.

Piper: Well, that's the last time I call 9-1-1.

Paige: Well, sadly, now that Leo can't heal us, I think we're going to be calling that number a lot more.

Piper: I can't believe this. They attack me at work now? What, is no place sacred?

Paige: Well, I thought we covered pretty well.

Piper: Yeah, this time, but what about next time and the time after that?

Paige: Well, we'll just deal with it when it happens.

Piper: No. I'm going to deal with them now.

Paige: Well, before you do that, can you help me out? Reason why I came here. That guy Mitchell ... blew me off. (Piper stares at her blankly.) My charge.

Piper: Oh.

Paige: Oh? That's all you have for me is "oh"?

Piper: Well, I can't really help you out with that whole whitelighter thing. You should probably talk to Leo.

(Behind Piper, Inspector Sheridan approaches. Paige sees her, her eyes widen.)

Inspector Sheridan: Excuse me. (Piper turns around.) You're Phoebe Halliwell's sisters, right?

Piper: Right.

Paige: Um, yeah.

Inspector Sheridan: I'm Inspector Sheridan. I met Phoebe a couple weeks ago on a different case.

Piper: Oh. Well, it's nice to meet you. Uh, where is Lieutenant ...

Inspector Sheridan: Lieutenant Morris? He's out of town. Just taking some personal time. I'll be covering for him while he's gone. So, could you describe the suspects? Tall? Short? White? Black?

Paige: Didn't really get a good look at him.

Piper: Yeah. We were in the back, and by the time we came out, they were -

Paige: Gone. Yeah, gone.

Inspector Sheridan: What I don't understand is why would they rob the place in the middle of the day. Before you even opened.

Paige: We have been asking ourselves the same question.

Inspector Sheridan: Hmm. Well, we'll stay in touch.

(Sheridan turns and leaves.)

Paige: Well, good news is I don't think she remembers meeting us. Thank god for memory dust.

Piper: Yeah, but it's not a hundred percent guaranteed. If we give her the slightest cause, her memory could come flying back, which is another reason we need to find the demon who did this.

[Scene: Imara's lair.]

(Lantos hesitantly approaches Imara, the sorceress, as she sits in front of her vanity mirror brushing her hair.)

Imara: Come closer, Lantos. You can tell me why you failed from here just as easily as from there.

Lantos: I'm confident the witch will be alone again soon.

(Irritated, Imara puts her hair brush down and stands up. With her are two handmaids.)

Imara: I don't have time for soon. (Imara advances on Lantos.) I need a lock of hair now. The only way to weaken Zankou is to take out his most trusted lieutenants. Daleek, Benzor, Linson ... all above ground. All of whom I can only get to with the help of the beautiful Charmed Ones. (She smirks at him.)

Tell me, Lantos. (she runs her fingertips down the side of his face) Do you

think I'm beautiful, too?

Lantos: Of course.

(One of the pretty handmaidens laughs under her breath. Imara rounds on her, grabbing her by her hand and turning her around to reveal two ugly scars running down the side of her face across her cheekbones.)

Imara: Do you want another scar? I can make you look like me in no time, you know. To your chambers.

(The two handmaidens leave.)

Imara: We can't wait any longer. I reported to the source. I won't do the same with his successor.

Lantos: Then I'll need at least a half a dozen more demons.

Imara: You can't overcome the sisters with force, especially not Piper. And

since she'll be expecting another attack, I need you to go after a different sister instead now. Phoebe.

Lantos: Why not Paige? She's less intuitive, more predictable.

Imara: But she's also a whitelighter now, which puts her in constant contact with the Elders. Besides, Phoebe's a celebrity ... idolized, envied. The way I deserve to be. And someday will be.

(Lantos nods, turns and leaves.)

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Kitchen]

(Phoebe storms into the kitchen to join Piper who is cooking up potions at the


Phoebe: Lawyers! There should be a special place in hell for each and everyone of them.

Piper: Okay, before you freak out, let me tell you about --

(Piper turns to get something from the spice cabinet.)

(Phoebe paces the floor.)

Phoebe: (interrupts) I mean, talk about an attack!

Piper: Exactly!

Phoebe: The paper's been sued by just a few people, and now the whole legal department is clamping down on the reporters.

Piper: So, you're not a reporter. Anyway, as I was--

(Piper puts a jar back in the cabinet.)

Phoebe: (interrupts) No. But I'm a columnist. And they're saying that I could actually be sued if I give bad advice. So they want every one of my columns to be reviewed by a professional shrink.

Piper: Okay. Well, technically, you're not a real shrink. So, as I was -

Phoebe: (scoffs) Excuse me? Bachelor's degree, four years. And besides, my readers don't care about my credentials, all they care about is my insight.

Piper: Yes, that is true. Now, why don't you direct that famous insight towards the fact that I was attacked at P3 today?

Phoebe: Oh, my god. Are you okay?

Piper: Well, I'm alive, which the demons won't be when I'm done with them providing I can find them.

Phoebe: Wait. They're not in the book?

Piper: Well, too many fit the description.

Phoebe: God, that's so weird. Demons never attack at P3.

Piper: Even weirder, I don't think they wanted to kill me. One of them could've easily nailed me with a fireball, but then didn't.

Phoebe: Huh.

Piper: Here.

(Piper hands her a potions vial filled with red liquid. Phoebe looks at it.)

Phoebe: What's this?

Piper: New policy. We carry them for protection at all times.

Phoebe: Yeah, but if we don't know what kind of demon it is—Piper: Well, it doesn't matter. If it doesn't kill them, it will at least stun


Phoebe: Wow. And I thought I was on a rampage.

Piper: Well, I'm sending the underworld a message. Basically, back off, and let me live my life.

Phoebe: And I'm going to help you with that, but first I have to deal with my

column. You want me to have a life, too, don't you?

Piper: If you must.

(And with that, Phoebe leaves the kitchen.)

[Scene: Magic School. Leo's office.]

(Leo is at work.)

Assistant: Is there anything else, sir?

Leo: I need a copy to go to every teacher and tell Mr. Feeney a definite yes on the after-school TK classes.

Assistant: I'll take care of it right away.

(The assistant leaves. Leo turns back to Paige who is sitting across his desk.)

Leo: So you bombed with your charge, huh?

Paige: Yeah. I'd say majorly.

Leo: Well, don't let it get you down. Reluctant charges come with the territory.

Paige: Well, I'm kind of wishing the Elders could've maybe given me a little bit more to go on. Let's see. I know that they told me he's had several whitelighters, and he has the power of hyperspeed. I pretty much could've found that out on Google.

(There's a jingle.)

Leo: Hold that thought.

(Leo looks over at Paige's right.)

Leo: Yes?

(Lawrence appears in the office clutching his stomach.)

Lawrence: I'm not feeling very well. Could you fill in for meat corporealizing class?

Leo: No problem. Go on, get some rest.

Lawrence: Thanks.

(Lawrence vanishes. Paige looks at Leo and smiles, impressed with what she's seen.)

Leo: What?

Paige: Nothing. You're just impressive, that's all.

Leo: What do you mean?

Paige: Well, I was the headmistress of this school for a year. And, uh, you

make it look easy, and I know it's anything but.

Leo: Thanks.

Paige: So, you need an assistant?

(She smiles at him.)

Leo: Paige.

Paige: What? I don't think I'm cut out for this whitelighter stuff. And I still don't trust the Elders.

Leo: Why, because they didn't tell you everything you needed to know about Mitchell? They don't tell you anything. They want you to get to know your charges yourself.

Paige: Okay, then why do they send me out to some guy who hates whitelighters and doesn't even want to talk to me?

Leo: Well, you've got to find a way to make him talk. It's your job. You're

his guide. Look, Paige, if you don't get him to use his powers, there's a lot

of future innocents that are going to be lost.

Paige: Gee, thanks. No pressure there.

Leo: The Elders wouldn't give you this assignment if they didn't think you could handle it. Use your instincts. Be creative. Look, once I had these charges who were a little less than willing to use their powers. So I had to assimilate myself into their lives, get them to trust me before I could help them. Pretended to be a handy man, worked like a charm.

Paige: Let me guess. You married one of them?

Leo: Well, let's just say that the Charmed Ones make Mitchell look like a piece of cake.

[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Hallway.]

(Phoebe presses the elevator button. She's on the phone.)

Phoebe: I don't care what they say in the legal department. That guy is not touching one word of what I've written.

(The elevator bell dings and the doors open.)

Phoebe: Uh, you know what? I'll be right there in a second.

(Phoebe shuts her phone off as she steps into the elevator. The man and the woman inside step out. Phoebe presses the button and the doors close.)

[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Elevator.]

(Two demons shimmer into the elevator behind Phoebe. She's unaware of their presence.)

(Lantos takes out a pair of scissors. The other grabs Phoebe from behind. She immediately starts struggling. She uses the wall, runs up it and flips herself over bringing her back between the two demons.)

Phoebe: Aah!

(She kicks Lantos behind her in the stomach while pushing the second demon back against the wall in front of her. She takes out the potion and throws it at the second demon. He explodes into a white cloud of smoke.)

(Lantos comes up from behind Phoebe and quickly snips off a lock of her hair.)

(Phoebe turns around, grabs the hand holding the scissors and twists it down. She hits Lantos across the face. With the scissors in her hand, she turns and stabs it at him.)

(Lantos shimmers out.)

(Phoebe hits the elevator wall.)

(She starts to tug at the scissors with both hands trying to get it out of the wall.)

(The elevator bell dings.)

(The doors open to Phoebe pulling the scissors out of the wall. She turns and

sees a woman in the hallway waiting for the elevator.)

(The woman looks at her strangely.)

(Phoebe brushes the linger white smoke with her hand trying to clear it.)

Phoebe: (sheepishly) It's my favorite scissors. I knew I left them somewhere.

(Phoebe steps out of the elevator. She coughs as she walks past the people in the hallway.)

(The man and the woman in the hallway peer into the elevator before stepping inside.)

[Scene: Underworld. Imara's lair.]

(Imara looks at the lock of Phoebe's hair.)

Imara: What pretty hair she has. This is going to be fun.

Lantos: I was lucky to get out of there alive. Her powers of intuition -

Imara: (interrupts) Won't do any good once she's trapped inside my cage.

Lantos: Still, if her sisters can anticipate like she can -

Imara: They can't. Phoebe's power is unique. I wonder how men look at her. With lustful hearts, no doubt.

Lantos: Maybe we should hold off on the transfer until we're sure.

Imara: How long have we been watching them? By now, we know The Charmed Ones better than anyone, including Zankou.

Lantos: But their bond is strong.

(Imara gives him an irritated look, tired of his interruptions.)

Lantos: To fool them even for a day--

(She walks over to him and pushes him back. Lantos goes flying across the room, landing on the floor with a thud.)

Lantos: uhh!

Imara: Like I've said, we've learned enough.

(She turns back and puts the lock of hair on the tray held by a hand maiden.)

[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe's office.]

(Phoebe is on the phone. She's looking at her compact trying to get a glimpse of the back of her head.)

Phoebe: I cannot believe they cut a piece from my hair, and I just spent $250 on a cut and color.

Piper: (from phone) What?

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Kitchen.]

(Piper is on the phone as she carries Wyatt and Chris' food to them.)

Piper: You spent $250 on a haircut? You could have bought a week's worth of groceries with that.

Phoebe: Okay. I don't think the price of my haircut should be your main concern right now.

Piper: (sighs) Okay, you're right. Actually, this is good news.

Phoebe: For whom exactly?

Piper: All of us. I mean, how many demons specialize in cutting someone's hair? It should make them easier to find. What did he look like? Long coat and greasy hair?

Phoebe: Yeah, and wielding some mean scissors, which, by the way, I have.

Piper: Oh, good. We can use them to scry with.

(Phoebe looks up and sees Dr. Randall in the bullpen.)

Phoebe: Okay. I'll drop them off at home as soon as I deal with someone else who wants a piece of me. I've got to go.

Piper: Wait. Phoebe, wait ...

(Phoebe hangs up.)

(Dr. Randall walks into Phoebe's office.)

Dr. Randall: Ms. Halliwell. Hello. I'm Dr. Randall.

Phoebe: Yes. I know exactly who you are. You're the guy here to ruin my column.

Dr. Randall: Hmm. I sense some displaced anger.

Phoebe: Oh, no. It's very well placed. And you can put your red pencil away because you're not touching a thing that I've written.

Dr. Randall: Well, I'm afraid you don't have a say in the matter.

Phoebe: Oh, really? Because the column is called "Ask Phoebe." So I'm pretty sure I do.

[Scene: Underworld. Imara's lair.]

(The large cauldron bubbles as Imara holds the lock of hair and chants.)

Imara: (chanting) Ekat ym lous. Ekat a demrahc enu. Edart meht won.

(She drops the lock of hair into the pot. It explodes. Imara falls back to the floor. Black smoke rises out from Imara and disappears through the cavern


[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe's office.]

(Dr. Randall continues to talk with Phoebe.)

Dr. Randall: Let me remind you, you're not the doctor ... I am. After all, I don't see any diplomas on your walls.

(Dr. Randall walks over to the wall, his back turned to Phoebe.)

(Phoebe glows, a white haze is pulled out of her and disappears down into the

floor while the black smoke rises up and infuses itself in her body.)

(Imara's soul, now in Phoebe's body, picks up the compact, opens it and looks at

herself in the small mirror. She likes what she sees.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): Nice.

[Scene: Underworld. Imara's lair.]

(Two demons drag Phoebe, now in Imara's body, back into a golden cage.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): What's going on? Where am I?

Demon2: You're with us now, Phoebe.

(They put her in the cage.)

Demon2: Get in the cage.

(The demon closes the door on her. Lantos steps forward waving a red crystal in his hand. The crystal glows and the cage is magically enforced as it glows.)

Lantos: Hello, witch. I hope you enjoy the view. It'll be the last one you'll ever have.

(Lantos steps away as Phoebe looks around the cage.)

[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe's office.]

(Dr. Randall, unaware that anything has happened, continues to talk with "Phoebe". "Phoebe" closes the compact.)

Dr. Randall: So, whether you like it or not, you and I are going to be working

together for a long time. Do we understand each other?

("Phoebe" looks at Dr. Randall and walks over to him.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): Do you think I'm hot?

Dr. Randall: Uh, excuse me?

(She grabs him by his lapels and kisses him full on the lips. She lets him go.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): This is going to be fun.

("Phoebe" heads out of her office.)

[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Bullpen.]

(With her bag slung over her shoulder, "Phoebe" walks through the bullpen. She winks at the co-worker watching her go.)

Piper: (v.o.) Any luck finding our demons?

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Living room.]

(Leo sits on the couch looking through a thick book. Piper walks into the room carrying more books in her hands.)

Leo: Nope.

(She puts them down on the side table with the other books.)

Piper: Well, good. I'm glad it just wasn't me. By the way, thanks.

Leo: For what?

Piper: For coming home to help me in the middle of the day.

Leo: You were attacked.

Piper: Yeah, I'm working on that not happening so much anymore.

Leo: Well, you know, Piper, you can't scare away all the demons all the time.

You know that.

Piper: No, but I can make them think twice about attacking again, can't I?

Besides, I'd like to think that one day you could come home in the middle of the

day for, I don't know ... lunch?

Leo: Hmm. Well, you know, we could find something else to do for, like, an

hour or so.

(Leo looks at her suggestively. Piper grins back at him.)

Piper: Take it easy. Keep checking.

(Leo flips through the book.)

Leo: Hmm. You know, I'm thinking whoever wanted the hair was probably working

for an upper-level demon. The question is who.

Piper: (thinking) Mmm ... soul swapper?

(Piper sits down on the sofa facing Leo.)

Leo: Could be. Or voodoo priestess ... or witch doctor, or demonic cloner.

(She picks up a book.)

Piper: A cloner? That wouldn't be such a bad thing. At least then I'd have another sister to fight demons with.

(Off screen, we hear the front door close. "Phoebe" walks into the room.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): Did someone say "fight demons?" 'Cause I am so there.

Piper: What are you doing back so soon?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Uh ... what do you mean?

Piper: What happened with the shrink?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Oh, I took care of him.

("Phoebe" turns and catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She gasps.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): Oh, my god.

Piper: Oh, for god sakes. Your hair looks fine.

("Phoebe" turns her back to the mirror trying to get a glimpse of what she looks like from behind.)

Leo: You know, maybe we should go up and check the Book of Shadows again.

Piper: I already checked it.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Maybe we should check again.

(Piper looks at "Phoebe".)

Imara (IN Phoebe): I mean, I'm just saying that we have to fight demons, right?

(Outnumbered, Piper shuts the book she's holding and gets to her feet.)

("Phoebe" turns to leave, but stops to admire herself in the mirror again.)

(She turns and leaves.)

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Attic.]

("Phoebe" is looking through the Book of Shadows. Leo is pacing the floor thinking while Piper sits on a stool looking through another book.)

Phoebe: Any idea what these demon creeps are looking for?

Leo: Not yet. But the more I think about it, the more I'm leaning towards soul swapping.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Soul swapping? No, I don't buy it.

Leo: Well, if it was voodoo, they could have just stolen a comb or brush to get

the hair. See, soul swapping is more powerful. It requires fresh ingredients,

which explains why they needed the freshly cut hair.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Yeah, but demons have tried to impersonate us before, and

it's never worked. I mean, we just ... know each other too well.

Piper: She's got a point, and besides ... at least we still have the scissors

to scry for them with.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Scissors?

Piper: Are they in your purse? I'll go get them.

(Piper closes the book and hops off the stool. Thinking quickly, "Phoebe" gasps loudly and takes a step back.)

(Piper stops. She and Leo both turn around.)

Leo: Phoebe?

Piper: What? Did you have a premonition?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Yes, I did. A very big one. (She steps up to the Book and points to the page.) This is the guy. This is the guy we're looking for right here.

(Piper and Leo approach to look.)

Piper: Daleek? Oh, he doesn't look like any of the demons that attacked us.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Are you sure?

Leo: You know, maybe he's working with him.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Yeah, that's probably it.

Leo: "Upper-level demon, works above ground." You know, it could be a Zankou plant. Wouldn't be the first time.

Piper: But it doesn't say anything about him cutting hair.

Imara (IN Phoebe): But I saw him posing as a civilian in my premonition. What more proof do we need?

Piper: Okay, but -

Imara (IN Phoebe): Great! ("Phoebe" heads for the door.) I'll meet you downstairs. I'm going to go slip into something a little bit more sexy.

Piper: Sexy? ("Phoebe" stops.) Phoebe, we're killing a demon, not going to the club.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Did I say sexy? I meant ... comfortable.

("Phoebe" turns and heads for the door again. Piper stops her.)

Piper: Wait!

Imara (IN Phoebe): (whispers, irritated) God. Now what.

Piper: Maybe we shouldn't go after this guy until we have the power of three.

Leo: Well, you can call Paige if you need her, but now that she's a whitelighter, you got to get used to working without her. She's not going to be around as much.

Imara (IN Phoebe): What he said.

Leo: Yeah, and besides, you have potions. If it does turn out to be an upper-level demon, it's nothing you haven't handled before.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Couldn't have said it any better myself.

(Piper turns and looks at her.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): I'm going to go change.

("Phoebe" turns to leave the attic.)

[Scene: Underworld. Imara's lair.]

(Meanwhile, "Imara" is stuck in the cage. She gingerly tries to touch the lock, but it zaps her. She pulls her hand back.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): Ow! Ow!

(Lantos watches from behind.)

Lantos: (amused) You have somewhere to go?

(He laughs.)

Lantos: I can't believe I was worried we wouldn't pull this off.

Phoebe (IN Imara): I'll get out of here eventually.

Lantos: Urgh. With a face like that, you're better off in the cage.

("Imara" turns and catches her reflection in the mirror. She gasps.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): Ohh.

Lantos: Aww. Don't feel all that Charmed now, do you?

Phoebe (IN Imara): My sisters will get me out of this cage ... and this body.

Lantos: You're forgetting. For them to come to your rescue, they first have to realize that Imara's in your body.

Phoebe (IN Imara): You don't think they can tell when there's a demon in the house?

Lantos: There was a demon in your house not long ago: Zankou. And everything he learned, we learned. Imara broke into his lair, stole all his information.

Now she knows everything about you.

Phoebe (IN Imara): I don't care. My sisters will figure it out.

Lantos: By then, it'll be too late for both you and Zankou. We'll have killed all his allies, weakened him to the point where he can no longer rule. And as for you, you're only keeping Imara's body alive so her soul can return to it. Too bad there won't be a body for your soul to return to.

(Lantos steps away leaving "Imara" thinking.)

[Scene: Mitchell Haines' Auto Shop.]

(Mitchell Haines is working in his shop. He hears tires screech and a car hitting something. He quickly stops what he's doing and runs to take a look.)

[Scene: Outside Mitchell Haines' Auto Shop.]

(Mitchell Haines steps outside. He stops when he sees a car smashed into an

electrical pole.)

Mitchell Haines: Oh, no.

(Inside, is a blonde-haired woman.)

Woman: Help me! Please! Someone! Help!

(Mitchell glances around, then uses his hyper-speed to get to the car. He looks up at the electrical pole hovering at a precarious angle, ready to fall at any moment. He quickly opens the door, gets the woman out and with an extra burst of speed, carries her to safety just as the electrical pole comes crashing down

on the car.)

[Scene: Mitchell Haines' Auto Shop.]

(He gently places the woman on the floor inside his auto shop.)

Mitchell Haines: Are you okay? Are you hurt?

(White orb lights surround the woman and she changes back into Paige.)

Paige: Surprise.

Mitchell Haines: What the hell? (Realizing he's been tricked, Mitchell backs away from her. She gets up.) What are you doing? Are you out of your mind?

Paige: Look, I'm just trying to show you that your powers can save lives. You didn't have to save mine, but you could have if you had to.

Mitchell Haines: So you tricked me?

Paige: Technically. (He nods, yes.) Here's the thing. I'm trying to remind you of what your powers can do, and why you can't just walk away from a gift like that.

Mitchell Haines: The hell I can't.

Paige: Mitchell, please—Mitchell Haines: You don't know me. You don't know meat all.

(Mitchell storms away from her.)

Paige: Could someone tell me why I'm trying to help this person?

[Scene: Magic School. Great hall and hallway.]

(Paige talks with Leo. They walk across the great hall and out to the hallway.)

Leo: You crashed your car?

Paige: It was a rental. What? I got the insurance.

Leo: That's not the point, Paige.

Paige: Look, you told me to trust my instincts, right? I did.

Leo: Yeah, to earn his trust, not destroy it.

Paige: Maybe there's a reason nobody's been able to get through to him. Maybe he just can't be gotten to.

Leo: Look, I don't think there's any such thing as a lost cause, Paige.

Paige: All right. Maybe it's just time to get somebody else.

Leo: Paige.

Paige. What? I mean it. Call the Elders and have them get another Whitelighter 'cause I'm done. I can't do it.

Leo: So you're just going to give up?

(Paige turns to walk away, but stops and looks back at Leo.)

Paige: I cannot force Mitchell to be a witch. I can't.

Leo: Maybe that's your problem.

Paige: What?

Leo: He's not just a witch, Paige. He's a person, too, and actually, he was a person first. Your powers are tied to your emotions, so stop concentrating on him as a witch and start focusing on him as a man.

(Paige considers that advice.)

[Scene: State building. Lobby]

("Phoebe" and Piper walk through the lobby heading toward the front desk. "Phoebe" is dressed in yet another outfit and wearing spiked-hells, wobbling as

she walks.)

Piper: We're vanquishing a City Councilman? Are you crazy?

Imara (AS Phoebe): I saw him posing as a civilian. You were fine with it before.

Phoebe: Yeah, that's because I thought we were going to find him in an alley or a warehouse somewhere, not downtown.

Imara (AS Phoebe): You insisted that I come home from work so we could deal with it.

Piper: Okay, would you stop clickity-clacking in those things for one second? Look, I want to kill demons just as much as you do, probably even more, but we can't afford to be reckless, especially with Sheridan lurking around.

Imara (IN Phoebe): Sheridan?

Piper: Yeah. This morning at the bar?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Oh, right. Sorry. I got demon councilman on the brain.

Piper: We really don't want heron our case again.

("Phoebe" stops and checks her reflection in the fire extinguisher glass.)

Piper: What are you doing? Are you checking yourself out?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Yeah. It's not a crime.

Piper: No, but now is not the time. Don't be so vain.

Imara (IN Phoebe): I just want to look presentable, okay? 'Cause we are meeting a Councilman, for god sakes.

("Phoebe" heads for the front desk. Piper follows her.)

Piper: Well, then maybe you should put on a jacket.

(They turn the corner.)

Piper: A Councilman you think might be evil.

Imara (AS Phoebe): I know he is evil, and you will, too, once you freeze the scene.

Piper: Yeah. If he ever moves, he's not freezing.

RECEPTIONIST: Can I help you?

(Piper freezes the receptionist and everyone there.)

Piper: No.

(She and "Phoebe" leave and head for the Councilman's office.)

[Scene: State building. Councilman Wexler's office.]

(Councilman Wexler is sitting behind his desk going through some papers. The

door opens and he looks up to find Piper and "Phoebe" walking into his office.)

Piper: Excuse me. Councilman Wexler?

Councilman Wexler: (stands up) I'm sorry. Do we have an appointment?

Imara (AS Phoebe): No, Daleek, actually, we don't.

(Councilman Wexler powers up a fireball. Piper blasts him, but only manages to blow-up his fireball and push him back into the wall.)

("Phoebe" throws the potion vial and it hits Councilman Wexler. He explodes.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): Wow! That was awesome. What was in that?

Piper: Who cares? Let's go.

(Piper turns and rushes out of the office.)

[Scene: State building. Lobby.]

("Phoebe" follows her.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): Hey. What's the rush? Everyone's frozen anyway.

Piper: Yeah, well, I don't want to be here when they unfreeze and figure out

that their boss is missing.

Phoebe: No one will ever know we were here.

(As Piper and "Phoebe" leave, the camera lingers on the security monitor. It shows both Piper and "Phoebe" in front of the front desk.)

[Scene: Halliwell Manor.]

(The front door opens. "Phoebe" and Piper return.)

Piper: I think we should just concentrate on the demon who actually attacked us.

Imara (AS Phoebe): We'll get him.

Piper: When?

Imara (AS Phoebe): Well, when I try and get a few more premonitions. I mean, who knows how many demons Zankou has out there.

Piper: But our first demon still has a piece of your hair, and who knows when he's going to use it or come back for more.

Imara (AS Phoebe): (scoffs) Who cares? With a face like this, I could be bald and look great.

("Phoebe" turns and heads up the stairs. Piper stares at her.)

Piper: What the hell's gotten into you?

("Phoebe" stops and turns around.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): What do you mean?

Piper: What do I mean? You're walking around like a crazy person. That is when you're not stopping to check yourself out in every shiny surface you walk past.

Phoebe: Well, I think I'm just a little scattered and overwhelmed, you know,

with the column and all these demons and trying to help you find a normal life.

Piper: And I appreciate that, but it doesn't require us going a mile a minute.

Phoebe: Well, you said you wanted to make a statement to the demon world. And what better statement than to kill a lot of demons, right?

Piper: Right. Where are you going?

Phoebe: I'm going upstairs to change my outfit. (Points to her outfit.) I've been in this for like the last hour.

("Phoebe" disappears upstairs just as the doorbell rings. Piper turns to answer it.)

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Foyer.]

(The front door opens. Piper finds Sheridan on the front porch.)

Piper: Inspector. Hello.

Inspector Sheridan: Piper.

(Sheridan walks into the house uninvited.)

Piper: What, uh, brings you all the way out here?

(Piper closes the door.)

Inspector Sheridan: Well, actually ... this does.

(Sheridan hands Piper the security camera photo of Piper and "Phoebe" at the front desk.)

Inspector Sheridan: The City Councilman's gone missing, and according to that photograph, the two of you were the last people to see him before he disappeared.

Piper: And you think we had something to do with that?

Inspector Sheridan: I don't know. (Sheridan takes the photo from Piper.) Did you?

Piper: No. I mean, we went to talk to him about some branches that were hanging over our backyard.

Inspector Sheridan: That's interesting, considering that he's not really your councilman.

Piper: Right ... which we figured out when we talked to him.

Inspector Sheridan: Oh.

Piper: Satisfied?

Inspector Sheridan: No, I'm not. First, there's a robbery that doesn't look like a robbery. Then a Councilman mysteriously vanishes, and both times, one of you is there.

Piper: Coincidence.

Inspector Sheridan: I don't believe in coincidences. We'll keep in touch.

(Sheridan leaves. Piper closes the door behind her.)

[Scene: Underworld. Imara's lair.]

("Imara" is pacing in her cage.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): Come on, Phoebe, there's got to be a way out of here.

(Lantos returns.)

Lantos: Hey! Give it a rest, will ya? You're tiring out her body. Imara's

going to need her strength when she returns to kill your sisters.

Phoebe (IN Imara): Yeah? What makes you think I'd let any demon --

("Imara" gasps and collapses in her cage. Lantos and the other demons look surprised.)

Lantos: What's the matter with you? Get up.

("Imara" looks around and gets to her feet.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): What happened? What am I doing here? (She turns and looks

at Lantos.) They figured it out. They reversed the spell. Well, don't just

stand there, you fools. Let me out of here.

Lantos: What are you talking about?

Phoebe (IN Imara): Don't you see? The witches switched our souls back. It's me.

Demon2: Imara.

Phoebe (IN Imara): Hurry, we don't have much time. Open up and let me out.

(Demon 2 takes a step forward. Lantos stops him.)

Lantos: Wait. (to "Imara") How do we know it's really you?

Phoebe (IN Imara): You dare challenge me? Open the cage or I'll kill you both.

Demon2: Same temper.

Lantos: (to the demon) Still, we've been planning this for months, and they figure it out in a couple of hours? (to "Imara") I don't think so.

Phoebe (IN Imara): They wouldn't have suspected anything if you hadn't left the scissors behind. That's right, you screwed up. Now let me out of here before they get here and kill us all.

Lantos: Stay here. I'm going to go above ground. See for myself.

Phoebe (IN Imara): Idiot! Phoebe will kill you the moment she sees you.

LANTOS: Unless you're Phoebe, and this is just a trick. Don't let her out until I return.

(Lantos shimmers out of the cave.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): The witches will vanquish him, then they'll come back and vanquish all of you unless you let me out of here now.

[Scene: Mitchell's auto shop.]

(Mitchell is working, banging on a metal piece with a hammer when Paige orbs in.)

Paige: Hi.

(Mitchell stands up and pulls out a rag from his back pocket. He doesn't bother looking at her.)

Mitchell Haines: Get out.

Paige: Nope, I'm not going away this time.

(Mitchell turns to leave, but Paige steps forward to block his path.)

Paige: And neither are you. Look, I know why you stopped using magic, okay? I did some research.

Mitchell Haines: You don't know anything.

Paige: I know what happened.

Mitchell Haines: Leave me alone.

(He takes a step aside, Paige blocks his path again.)

Paige: You're not going to run from me like you've run from all the others. Something happened to your fiancee, right? Jennifer?

(He uses his hyper-speed, but Paige orbs into his path.)

(He stops.)

Paige: I can do this all night.

Mitchell Haines: Why are you doing this to me?

Paige: Look, I don't give a rat's ass about you being a witch or not. I'm just

trying to help you. You're not just running away from your gift, you're running

away from yourself. You really loved her, didn't you?

Mitchell Haines: Yes, I did.

Paige: How'd she die?

Mitchell Haines: I was supposed to meet her. I was late, I can't remember why. By the time I got there, they had already killed her. Demons. They didn't want her. She didn't even know what they were, who I was. They were there for me, but I was ... late. If only I'd used my speed, I might have been there in time to do s-som—Paige: You can't know that. You're never going to be able to know that. When my parents died, I blamed myself. I even used magic to try and go back in time and fix it, but I couldn't. The thing is, we're never, ever going to be able to fix everything, or save everybody, because at the end of the day, you and I are just ... people who have the ability to help other people.

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Attic.]

("Phoebe" rushes into the attic in yet another outfit.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): Aren't you cold?

(Piper is looking through the Book of Shadows.)

Piper: No, but, then again, I actually have clothes on.

Imara (AS Phoebe): Yeah, I know, it's kind of skimpy, but it's just so cute, I

couldn't help myself.

Piper: Okay, can we get back to the demons?

Imara (AS Phoebe): Right. ("Phoebe" walks over to the Book of Shadows.) You betcha. Let's see.

(She starts flipping through the Book. She finds the page she wants, places her hands on the Book and gasps loudly.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): Benzor.

Piper: Benzor?

Imara (AS Phoebe): Upper-level demon. I saw him posing as a judge, and he probably is working for Zankou, too.

Piper: You got all that from one premonition?

Imara (AS Phoebe): Pretty good, huh?

("Phoebe's" cell phone rings. "Phoebe" doesn't move.)

Piper: Are you going to get that?

("Phoebe" looks blankly at Piper.)

Piper: Your phone.

Imara (AS Phoebe): Oh, right.

("Phoebe" goes to her bag, opens it, takes out her phone and answers it.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): (to phone) Hello? (blankly) Dr. Randall? (pause) Oh, yes. Dr. Randall. You know what, just do what you want,-- (Piper's head whips

up from the Book.) --because I don't really care.

("Phoebe" hangs up.)

(Off screen, we hear a baby crying.)

Piper: I'll be right back.

(Piper leaves the attic.)

(As soon as she's gone, Lantos shimmers into the attic holding a fireball in the palm of his hand.)

("Phoebe" turns around.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): What are you doing here?

Lantos: Imara?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Well, who else would it be? Why aren't you watching the witch?

(Lantos powers down the fireball.)

Lantos: She said they sent you back to your body. I came to check.

Imara (IN Phoebe): What?

Piper: (o.s.) Phoebe, who are you talking to?

("Phoebe" turns to the doorway.)

Phoebe: Piper, help!

Lantos: What are you doing?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Covering.

(Piper steps into the attic.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): (points) Blow him up.

("Phoebe" steps aside.)

Lantos: No!

(Piper waves her hands and blows Lantos up.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): Phew. That was close, huh?

Piper: That was the demon that attacked me in the club.

Imara (IN Phoebe): And me in the elevator.

(Paige orbs in.)

Paige: Hey. What's up?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Oh, Paige. Good. You're just in time.

Paige: For what?

Imara (IN Phoebe): To help us vanquish the demon that's trying to kill us.

Piper: How do you know who it is?

Imara (IN Phoebe): Well, the demon we just vanquished said her name. It's, uh ... ("Phoebe" heads over to the Book of Shadows and looks through it, stopping at a page.) ... Imara. We have to vanquish her right away.

[Scene: Underworld. Imara's lair.]

("Imara" is still in the cage working on Demon 2.)

Demon2: I can't let you out. She'll kill me.

Phoebe (IN Imara): She is me.

Demon2: But Lantos said—Phoebe: (IN Imara): Lantos is dead, otherwise he would've returned by now.

Demon2: (shakes his head) I don't know.

Phoebe (IN Imara): If you do nothing, you'll be vanquished by the witches. But if you free me, you'll take Lantos' place and rule by my side.

(Now that sounds appealing. Demon2 turns around and waves the crystal releasing the force field around the cage. The cage glows briefly. Demon2 unlocks and opens the cage door for "Imara".)

Phoebe (IN Imara): You made a wise decision.

("Imara" reaches up and holds the bars above the cage door, swings herself up and kicks Demon2 in the chest. She steps out of the cage.)

Demon2: Phoebe! Oh, no!

("Imara" puts her hands on her hips and looks down at Demon2. )

(Through the reflection of the mirror behind her, we see The Charmed Ones orb into the cave. "Imara" turns and looks at them.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): Well, it took you long enough.

Imara (AS Phoebe): Actually, I think we're right on time.

("Imara" sees "Phoebe" reach for the potion.)

Phoebe (IN Imara): No, don't --

("Phoebe" throws the potion and blows "Imara" up.)

(Phoebe's white spirit remains and floats up into the air, disappearing through the ceiling.)

(Piper and Paige stare up at the ceiling while "Phoebe" heads over to Demon2.)

Paige: What was that?

("Phoebe" reaches down and holds onto Demon 2's shoulders.)

Imara (IN Phoebe): That was Phoebe's soul. We just killed your sister.

("Phoebe" and Demon2 shimmer out of the cave leaving Piper and Paige stunned.)

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Sitting Room.]

(Piper, Paige and Leo sit are in the sitting room. Piper paces back and forth.)

Piper: I told you it was a soul swap, didn't I?

Leo: I don't think right now is the time for "I told you so's".

Piper: No, I think now is the perfect time, actually. There was obviously something wrong with her. Why didn't I do something?

Paige: I don't think beating yourself up is going to do any good.

Leo: Besides, how could we have known? You know? She took over Phoebe's body to kill demons. It's what Phoebe does.

Piper: No, not lately, it isn't. Not with everything going on at work with her. I should've done something. I can't believe I didn't ...

(Piper sinks down into the nearest chair.)

Paige: All right, we should just concentrate on getting her back, okay?

Piper: Back? Paige, her soul floated away. She's gone.

Leo: (thinking) Not necessarily. I mean, we've dealt with spirits before. We know that they can keep themselves from moving on if their will is strong enough.

Paige: Phoebe's definitely is.

Piper: Okay, fine. Great. But Imara is still in her body, and I don't see her in a big hurry to give it up.

Paige: Yeah, especially since we blew up her demonic body. Not that I'm saying it's anybody's fault.

Leo: But you could always do another soul swap. Put Phoebe's soul back in her

body, and send Imara's essence to, uh ...

Paige: What, oblivion?

Leo: Yeah, you just have to do the same ritual again.

Piper: That requires a piece of Phoebe's hair, and I don't see Imara letting us get close enough to try.

(Paige gets an idea.)

Paige: No, but I think I might know somebody who can.

(She turns and looks at Leo.)

[Scene: Courthouse. Judge Hendrick's chambers]

(Judge Thomas Hendricks is in his office when the door opens. "Phoebe" and

Demon2 walk in.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): Thomas Hendricks?

Thomas Hendricks : Where'd you come from?

Imara (AS Phoebe): Judge Thomas Hendricks?

Thomas Hendricks : Who are you?

Imara (AS Phoebe): Someone who doesn't want to work for your boss. Zankou?

(Thomas Hendricks throws an energy dart at "Phoebe". She ducks and the dart blows up Demon2 standing behind her.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): Damn, that was my favorite minion.

(She turns and quickly throws the potion at the Judge. He explodes.)

Imara (AS Phoebe): All right, who's next?

(Suddenly, the door opens. A flash of white light enters the room. Mitchell Haines snips off a piece of "Phoebe's" hair.)

Mitchell Haines: Thanks.

(And with another burst of hyper speed, Mitchell is gone. The door shuts behind him.)

[Scene: Halliwell Manor. Attic.]

(Leo walks toward the potions table where Paige and Piper are working. Paige adds ingredients to the boiling pot while Piper looks over the spell.)

(A bright light zooms in through the door and stops neat to Paige. It's Mitchell. He hands her the lock of hair.)

Mitchell Haines: (panting) She's pretty pissed.

Paige: (chuckles) Thanks.

(Paige tosses the hair into the pot. The pot gives off a small explosion.)

Paige: Whoo!

(The smoke clears.)

Piper: Wait.

(Behind them, "Phoebe" shimmers into the room. Piper and Paige turn around.)

Piper: Now.

(They both start chanting.)

Piper & Paige: (both) Lock of hair completes our goal, to help us reclaim our sister's soul,

("Phoebe" powers up a fireball and throws it at them. Without missing a beat, Piper raises her hand and blocks the fireball, exploding it in front of "Phoebe". "Phoebe" takes a step back landing on the floor with a thud.)

Piper & Paige: (both)

banish this demon, spare no pain, bring Phoebe back from the ghostly plane."

(There's a small poof as Imara's soul is released from Phoebe's body. The black smoke rises up toward the ceiling.)

(Phoebe's white soul quickly heads downward back into her own body. Phoebe looks up.)

(With nowhere to go, Imara's soul lets out a painful cry as it sinks downward,

disappearing into the floor.)

(Phoebe scrambles to her feet.)

Phoebe: Whoa. Ooh.

Paige: Are you okay?

Phoebe: (angry) No, I am not okay! How could you not know that thing was inside me?

(Piper holds up the piece of paper with the spell on it, trying to block out

Phoebe's anger.)

Piper: Oh, don't start with me!

(Phoebe notices Mitchell behind them.)

Phoebe: Who's this guy?

Paige: This is, um, my first charge. Mitchell. He saved you.

(Phoebe turns and smiles at Mitchell.)

Phoebe: Oh. Thank you.

Mitchell Haines: Don't thank me. Thank my whitelighter. She saved me.

Phoebe: (mumbles) He's cute.

Piper & Paige: (both) She's back.

[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe's office.]

(Elise walks through the bullpen and heads to Phoebe's office. She puts the newspaper page on Phoebe's valise. Phoebe looks at it.)

Phoebe: Ooh, do I even want to read this?

Elise Rothman: Don't see why not, considering it's word for word what you

wrote. Dr. Randall is no longer with the paper.

Phoebe: Really? Did you fire him?

Elise Rothman: He didn't leave me much choice. He, uh ... (chuckles) ... he

claimed you came on to him.

Phoebe: I did?

Elise Rothman: Exactly. And that was just his first lie. He also said you

told him he could do whatever he wanted to do with the column, that you didn't

care one way or the other.

Phoebe: (scoffs) Ugh. Well, he must have me confused with someone else.

Elise Rothman: Which is exactly what I said when I kicked his butt out the door.

Phoebe: That's fine by me. So are we going to be hiring someone else?

Elise Rothman: I told legal we never had a problem with your column before, and until we do, back off.

Phoebe: I appreciate that vote of confidence, Elise. But I've been thinking, and maybe my column could use a little bit more professional insight.

Elise Rothman: How so?

(Phoebe zips up her bag, grabs her things and heads out the door.)

Phoebe: I'll let you know. I've gotta run it by my sisters first.

(Phoebe leaves the office.)

[Scene: P3]

(Paige carries her drink over to where Piper's sitting.)

Paige: Hey! How'd you fix this place up so fast?

Paige: Potions? Spells?

Piper: Even better. Husband.

Paige: Ooh. Getting Leo to go back to work. Nothing says normal quite like that. And hey, we haven't had a demon attack all day.

Piper: Well, hopefully the demon world took note of our rampage.

Paige: I don't think killing Imara constitutes a rampage.

Piper: No, but killing Imara, Daleek, and Benzor does.

Paige: Okay, we didn't kill the last two.

Piper: Yeah, but the demon world doesn't know that.

Phoebe: No, they just think I did it.

(Phoebe carries her bottled water and joins them.)

Phoebe: Which is fine by me, actually.

Piper: Me, too.

(Phoebe sits down next to Piper.)

Phoebe: Okay, so, you guys want to know what the real Phoebe's going to do next?

Paige: What?

Phoebe: I've decided that I'm going to go back to college.

Piper: College? Again?

Phoebe: Yeah. I think I want to get my graduate degree. This way, the paper'll get off my back, and I can actually get my professional credentials, and who knows? Maybe even be a better columnist.

Piper: What happened to the woman who said her readers didn't care about credentials?

Phoebe: Well, as a future psychologist, um, I can honestly say that I --

Paige: Was swimming in a big bag of denial?

Phoebe: Yes, exactly.

Piper: What about the shrink at work?

Phoebe: I don't think he'll be a problem anymore.

Paige: Well, girls, unfortunately, I think Inspector Sheridan is going to be a problem.

Phoebe: Wait, she's on our case again?

Paige: And how.

[Scene. San Francisco Police Department. Office]

(Inspector Sheridan is sitting at her desk looking through a file marked, "HALLIWELL". There's a light knock at the door and Inspector Ryan steps into the office.)

Inspector Ryan : Did you hear about Judge Hendricks?

Inspector Sheridan: No, what?

(Inspector Ryan puts his jacket on.)

Inspector Ryan: He disappeared, too. Must be an epidemic.

Inspector Sheridan: Yeah, must be.

Inspector Ryan: If you need a hand with the Councilman's case, just let me know.

Inspector Sheridan: No, it's all right. I got it.

(Inspector Ryan nods and leaves. He closes the door behind him.)

(Sheridan opens another file and continues reading.)