Size Matters/Script

Written by: Nell Scovell

Season 4, Episode 05

Episode Number: 71

[Scene: P3. Piper is talking to the new manager.]

Man: White gauze curtains would give this place some flair. You know what I’m saying? Then we’ll take out these tables over here. Replace them with mounds of pillows so people can lay back and get comfortable. You look worried, baby girl.

Piper: We – uh – Treat. I know I gave you the authority to make some changes in the club, but I thought they would happen gradually. You know, I don’t want to shock the regulars.

Treat: Well, I do. All right? You’re place seems too safe. Now do you trust me? Do you trust the number one club promoter in all of San Francisco?

Piper: Yes, of course…

Treat: Good. All right, guys. Rip it all out! (Phoebe enters.)

Phoebe: Wait a minute! What’s going on? That’s our table? Who told them that they could rip out our table?

Treat: I did.

Phoebe: And who are you?

Piper: Phoebe, this is Treat Taylor. He’s the new manager of P3.

Phoebe: I-I-I’m sorry. The new what?

Piper: I just hired him on a trial basis.

Phoebe: Well, isn’t that interesting. I need to talk to you. (Phoebe pulls Piper to the side.)

Piper: You look worried, baby girl.

Phoebe: Well, why didn’t you tell about this?

Piper: It just happened yesterday. Which is why I asked you to come down here today.

Phoebe: We said we weren’t going to do this.

Piper: Uh, do what?

Phoebe: Make any major changes in our lives. All the books caution against it. After you’ve suffered a major loss. Do not sell the house. Do not get married. Do not quit your job.

Piper: Okay, but like it or not, there’s been a lot of changes lately, and this is hardly the biggest. (They see Paige.)

Phoebe: Oh, speak of the devil/whitelighter/witch. (Paige walks up to them.)

Paige: Hi, guys.

Phoebe: Hi!

Paige: I hope I’m not interrupting.

Phoebe: No, no we were just talking.

Paige: Well, I have a quick question, but it can wait. Continue.

Piper: I was just explaining to Phoebe that the changes I’m making in the club are not by choice. They are by necessity. Okay? P3 has been struggling a little lately and we are now a single salary household.

Phoebe: Oh, we don’t have to be. I--I can get a job.

Piper: Uh-huh. And if you could get a part-time entry level job that pays you about two hundred grand a year that would really make a difference. Otherwise, I’d rather you be free for other work.

Paige: About that other work.

Phoebe: But it’s not fair. You shouldn’t carry the financial burden.

Piper: I will worry about the source of our income if you worry about the source of all evil.

Paige: Speaking of evil--

Piper: Besides, what kind of job would you get?

Phoebe: I am a college grad. I am sure I could find something.

Paige: I found something.

Piper: Okay, Paige. What is it?

Paige: Okay, have you guys ever walked by a house and just, uh, got a really bad creepy feeling from it? Okay, on my way to get coffee every morning I walk by this house and I get... this shiver.

Phoebe: A shiver?

Paige: Does it mean anything?

Piper: It’s a shiver.

Paige: No, I’ve always just dismissed it as a bad case of the creeps, but now that I’m a witch... I don’t know. I think it might be something supernatural.

Phoebe: Well, do you know anything about the house?

Paige: Just that this cute guy named Finn lives there. We bumped into each other at the grocery store. Flirted a little. Done the are these melons ripe thing, okay.

Piper: Well, that sounds like you have the hots not the creeps.

Paige: Well –

Phoebe: Either way, I think it’s a good idea that you stay away from this Finn guy.

Paige: No, I don’t get the shiver from him. Just the house. I think I’m on to something.

Piper: I really think that when you’ve been a witch for a few months, you’ll know the difference between sensing evil and needing a warmer jacket.

Paige: So you don’t want to check it out?

Piper: Not any time soon. (She leaves.)

Paige: Phoebe, I’m not making this up.

Phoebe: Oh, I know you’re not sweetie. But you got to admit, it’s not a lot to go on. I gotta run. I’ll call you later.

Paige: Okay.

Phoebe: Okay. Stay away from that Finn guy.

[Scene: Finn’s house. He drives into the driveway with a woman on his motorcycle.]

Woman: Geez, Finn. You live here.

Finn: It needs some work. Okay, it needs a lot of work, but it’s nicer inside. I’ll show you.

Woman: I must be out of my mind.

Finn: Why?

Woman: I don’t know. Going home with a guy I just met.

Finn: Come on. What are you afraid of? (They enter the house. Finn tries to turn on the light, but it doesn’t work.) I keep meaning to get that fixed.

Woman: It’s kind of dark in here, Finn.

Finn: You’re a little old to be scared of the dark, aren’t you? Maybe I should go check the circuit breaker.

Woman: Wait, don’t go.

Finn: It’s okay. (He leaves and the demon watches the woman from behind a hole in the wall.)

Woman: Who’s there? (The demon, Gammill, uses his wand to shrink her as she screams.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Finn’s house. Gammill sharpens tools and decorates a small figurine.]

[Cut to outside. Paige watches Finn leave on his motorcycle.]

[Scene: Office. Phoebe’s there, sitting in a chair, at a job interview.]

Woman: If I’m reading this correctly, you were 27 years old when you finished college.

Phoebe: Yes. I just graduated last spring.

Woman: Well, that certainly took awhile.

Phoebe: Oh, I had to take a break after my freshman year. Personal reasons.

Woman: Would you care to elaborate?

Phoebe: Not really.

Woman: You know during the holidays things get pretty hectic around here. We need people can handle tense situations.

Phoebe: Oh, believe me, I am uniquely qualified to handle any kind of pressure. I battled more d… customer complaints than you could possibly ever imagine.

Woman: I see you also noted that you require a flexibe work schedule.

Phoebe: I’ll put in the hours. I promise. It’s just sometimes, I may just have to leave unexpectedly.

Woman: Would you care to elaborate?

Phoebe: No, not really.

Woman: I see.

Phoebe: But it’s not what you’re thinking.

Woman: How do you know what I’m thinking?

Phoebe: I don’t know what you’re thinking. I just know that whatever you’re thinking it’s not it.

Woman: So you’re not going to tell me?

Phoebe: No, it’s just so silly. No.

[Scene: Manor. Foyer. Paige enters through the front door.]

Paige: Hello? It anybody home? (She finds Leo levitating it the living room with an orb around him.) Leo? (Leo falls.) Oh, god. Are you okay? Uh, I knocked, but nobody answered. And the door was unlocked. (Leo stands up.)

Leo: Oh, it usually is. Otherwise, demons come crashing through and it costs a fortune to fix. If you’re looking for Phoebe, she’s not here. She’s at a job interview.

Paige: Actually, I was looking for you.

Leo: Me? Why?

Paige: Well, seeing that you’re a whitelighter and I’m part whitelighter, I was hoping we could have a whitelighter to part whitelighter chat.

Leo: Sure. Of course, sit down.

Paige: So you have the ability to locate your charges, right?

Leo: Sometimes.

Paige: And if you have a sixth sense for locating good, is it possible that I have one for locating evil?

Leo: You think you sensed evil?

Paige: I know it sounds silly, but there’s this house that I walk by and I get this really bad feeling from. The problem is that I’ve already discussed it with Piper and Phoebe and they’ve dismissed it.

Leo: So you want me to talk to them?

Paige: I hate to put you in the middle.

Leo: Well, it’s part of my job. Uh, I’ll just talk to them when I sense their minds are in the right spot.

Paige: Thank you. (Phoebe enters the house.)

Phoebe: Damn it!

Leo: Now would not be a good time. (They go over to her.)

Phoebe: I am only going to say this once. The real world better start showing me some respect. Otherwise, I am going to saving it every week.

Leo: What happened?

Phoebe: I just had the worst job interview for a position that a monkey could fill. Provided that the monkey could explain why it needed flexible work hours. Why aren’t you at work?

Paige: I – It’s my lunch break. I just –

Phoebe: You’re not still talking about the creepy house. Are you? Did you find out any new information?

Leo: I think it’s worth checking out.

Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, let’s go. I mean, it’s not like I have to be at work or anything.

Paige: Yeah, but I do. Could we meet afterwards? Like 4? I’ll give you the address. I just, uh, need, uh, pen and paper. (A pen and paper orb into her hand.) I love being able to move stuff with my mind. I’ll see you there later. Leo, thanks.

Leo: Sure. (Paige leaves.)

Phoebe: You really think she’s on to something?

Leo: Well, the important thing is that she does, so I think we should support that.

Phoebe: Okay. Well, then I’ll go change into my work clothes and head over there.

Leo: Do you want me to go with you? I mean you don’t even know what’s there.

Phoebe: Leo, please. This is what I do.

[Scene: P3. Treat is showing Piper the new waitresses uniforms with the name The Spot on it.]

Treat: Woo, now that’s what I’m talking about.

Piper: You’re changing the name of the club?

Treat: Man, you know that’s the plan. You know?

Piper: What’s wrong with P3?

Treat: Well, you know we polled people and most of them thought it was a parking level. I mean I don’t even know what it stands for.

Piper: It stands for Prue, Piper, and Phoebe. We are P3. We were.

Treat: Yeah, but check this out. The new image deserves a new name. Otherwise, no one will know what it is. You know what I’m saying? But look, if you’re against it. Look, I can take it all down, change things around, whatever you want me to do baby girl.

Piper: No, it’s just – it’s just another change. So, uh, do what you want.

Treat: You cool?

Piper: Yeah.

Treat: You cool?

Piper: Yeah.

Treat: You cool?

Piper: Uh-huh.

Treat: All right.

[Scene: Finn’s house. Phoebe knocks on the door. No one answers and she starts to walk away. The door opens by itself.]

Phoebe: Oh, come on, Phoebe. Show a little spine. (She goes into the house.) Hello? (Gammill watches Phoebe from the hole in the wall.) Anybody home?

(Phoebe sees a collection of little dolls with looks of horror on their faces. She picks up one, gets a premonition, and drops the doll.)

Gammill: No! (He uses his wand to shrink Phoebe.)

Phoebe: Uh-oh! (She runs away.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Finn’s house. Gammill is looking for Phoebe (shrunk), who is hiding under a table.]

Gammill: Where are you? You can’t have gone that far.

Phoebe: (whispering) Leo. Leo. Oh! (The demon sees Phoebe running across the floor to the couch.)

Gammill: I see you. (Phoebe levitates out of his reach.) Well, you little witch. We’ll see how long you last. (The demon gets the vacuum cleaner.)

Phoebe: Oh, this sucks.

[Scene: P3. Leo and Paige orb into a secure area.]

Paige: I can’t get used to this orbing thing.

Leo: You will. You’ve got in you.

Paige: I feel like my stomach’s going to come out of me. (They find Piper.)

Leo: Uh, what’s with the white gauze? It’s worse than up there.

Piper: It was Treat’s idea. What are you guys doing here?

Paige: We orbed in.

Piper: Together?

Paige: Yeah, well we were worried about Phoebe. She was supposed to meet me at the creepy house, but she never showed so I thought maybe she got hung up. So I went to your place--

Piper: Um, I thought we decided not to investigate the so-called creepy house.

Paige: Well, I know you didn’t think it was anything, but Leo...

Piper: Oh, so you went behind my back and asked Leo.

Leo: She didn’t go behind your back and I’m her whitelighter, too.

Piper: Uh-hmm, right. Well, it’s a smart thing to do as a witch, but an annoying thing to do as a sister. So what happened to Phoebe?

Leo: I don’t know. I checked my radar, but she dropped to the tiniest blip.

Piper: And what would account for that?

Leo: I don’t know, but I don’t like it.

Piper: Well, then we should probably get over there.

Paige: See, I told you something was going on in that house.

Piper: Uh-huh, okay. Let’s hold the congratulations till we find Phoebe. (As they are leaving the workmen break the P3 sign.)

Leo: Piper?

Piper: Doesn’t matter. P3 doesn’t exist anymore. (Paige looks at the broken sign.)

[Scene: Finn’s house. Phoebe’s grabbing onto the couch for dear life. Gammill’s trying to suck her into the vacuum cleaner. Finn enters.]

Gammill: Watch out! One’s loose! Shut the door. Shut it!

Finn: What are you going to do with her when you find her?

Gammill: Don’t ask questions.

Finn: The same thing you did with the other one? (Gammill shuts off the vacuum cleaner. Phoebe relaxes.)

Gammill: I said don’t ask questions. The other one. Still, that... that gives me an idea. (He goes and takes out the woman he shrunk earlier covered in clay.)

Finn: Do you want me to--

Gammill: Shh. (Phoebe sees the other girl try to say help me.)

Finn: The door is still open.

Gammill: Shut it! (He does.)

[Scene: Outside Finn’s House. Piper’s car is there with Piper, Paige, and Leo in it.]

Paige: There it is. See? Oh, shiver.

Piper: Well, uh, Paige you don’t have to be a super witch to know that that house is creepy.

Leo: I saw a motorcycle in the driveway. Somebody’s home.

Piper: Okay, so I say we go up to the front door. You knock and I will freeze.

Leo: You don’t always have control over your powers. You might be blowing up an innocent.

Piper: Okay, so how about you orb in, check out the place, and tell us what we’re up against.

Paige: I have an idea –

Leo: Well, the problem with that is what if what we’re dealing with is not supernatural. Then I’ve orbed into somebody’s living room and we’ve risked exposure.

Paige: I mean if I just –

Piper: This is why I say we go with the freeze.

Paige: I can get Finn out of the house.

Piper: How?

Paige: Well, I know the guy. I’ll just go in, lure him out, and you can go in and snoop around.

Piper: No. We can’t let you go off with a potential demon. It’s too dangerous. Right, Leo?

Leo: Actually, it sounds like our best bet.

Piper: Are you siding with Paige now?

Leo: Hey, there’s no sides. And, yes.

Piper: Huh!

Paige: Look, I know I’m new to magic, but the only way to change that is to allow me to get some experience.

Piper: And I’m just trying to protect you.

Paige: That’s nice, but your protecting me may be hurting Phoebe. Look, I got her into this. Let me help get her out of it.

Piper: Okay, fine. Go. But until we know who this Finn guy is and what he does, I do not want you alone with him. Take him to P3, or – I mean, The Spot.

Paige: Got it. (Paige gets out a lollipop.)

Piper: What is that for?

Paige: A lure. (Paige gets out of the car.)

Piper: Do not go into that house. Did you hear me? I said do not go in! (Paige leaves.) It is like talking to a wall.

Leo: She’s got the Halliwell hearing.

[Scene: Finn’s house. Phoebe levitates up to the woman in clay.]

Phoebe: Whoo! That’s one good thing about being so small. I’m so light I can kind of fly. Can you talk? (The woman whimpers.) Okay. Just close your eyes and don’t tense up. (Phoebe kicks and breaks the clay. The woman starts to collapse.) No, no. You can collapse later. I need you to run now. Can you do that?

Woman: Yeah.

Phoebe: We got to go before Gammill sees us. (Gammill comes up and traps them under a can.)

Gammill: Gotcha. I knew a witch could never resist saving an innocent. (He hears Paige knocking on the door.)

Paige: Hello!

Gammill: Now what?

Paige: Hello!

Gammill: Another girl. Get her inside. Go get her. Get her!

Finn: Maybe we should just let them all go.

Gammill: Since when did you develop a conscience? Hmm? I never gave you one. Now what are you standing around for? Go! Go! Fetch! (Finn goes to answer the door. Phoebe is yelling.) Be quiet! (Gammill puts them in a container.)

[Cut to front door. Finn opens it to see Paige.]

Paige: Hi!

Finn: Hi!

Paige: Remember me? The girl with the melons... from the supermarket melons.

Finn: Yeah, I remember. What brings you here?

Paige: Let’s just say I got tired of waiting for you to show up on my doorstep.

Finn: I’m sorry?

Paige: Look, if we’re going to go out, the first thing you need to know about me is that I don’t play games. I see what I want and I, uh, go for it. Do you have a problem with that?

Finn: Are you always this aggressive with guys?

Paige: Just the ones I like.

Finn: Why don’t you come in? (Paige hesitates.) Is something wrong?

Paige: Oh, just the old cliché. My mother told me never to go into stranger’s houses. That thing.

Finn: Come on. What are you afraid of?

[Cut to Piper and Leo watching in the car.]

Piper: Don’t do it.

[Cut to Gammill watching through the hole in the wall.]

Gammill: Do it.

[Cut to Paige. She starts to enter the house.]

Finn: No, wait. On second thought, let’s just go out. (Finn and Paige leave the house.)

[Cut to Leo and Piper.]

Leo: The lure worked. (Paige and Finn drive away on his motorcycle. Paige waves at them.)

Piper: Barely.

[Cut to inside Finn’s house. Gammill goes to Phoebe and the woman.]

Gammill: Now where were we? (Leo and Piper orb in and Gammill hides.)

Phoebe: (In her small voice) Piper! Piper!

Piper: You go that way. I’ll go this way.

Phoebe: In here! (Piper looks around and finds the demon’s collection of small dolls.)

Piper: Oh, weird.

Leo: What a bizarre collection. I wouldn’t touch. We should look for Phoebe. I’ll check upstairs.

Phoebe: Piper! Piper! (Piper can’t hear Phoebe’s cries. Leo comes back in.)

Leo: There’s nothing upstairs. I mean nothing. Anything down here?

Piper: No, nothing but a bunch of clays.

Leo: I think we should get out of here. Check the Book of Shadows. I-I want to know what we’re dealing with.

Piper: Well, whatever it is it better not require the Power of Three to vanquish it. (They orb out and the demon goes over to Phoebe.)

Gammill: Well, well the Power of Three. So you’re not just a witch, but a Charmed One. Nothing will make happier than to collect you all.

Commercial break

[Scene: Finn’s house. Gammill puts Phoebe and the woman into clay.]

Gammill: When your clay hardens, I’ll fire up the kiln and once you’re in the kiln, there’ll be nothing left to save. Don’t worry. I’ll be back. Once I complete my collection. (He leaves.)

Phoebe: Okay, good. Now that he’s gone, I can focus on getting us out of here. Although, I do have to tell you I am not having the best day of my life. It began with an interview where a woman made me feel this big, and now I actually am this big. And next up is being baked. (The woman shrieks.) Well, that’s just a round about of saying don’t panic. I’m going to get us out of here. I’m... going... to turn... this day around.

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper and Leo are looking in the Book of Shadows.]

Leo: Found him! Gammill a.k.a. The Collector. He’s known for his passion of collecting one of a kind figurines. Wonder what he gets out of that?

Piper: Well, speaking for my great-aunt Sylvia, who collects Hummels, when they have a hard time dealing with real people figurines can be their best friends.

Leo: Yeah, but being socially awkward doesn’t land you in the Book of Shadows.

Piper: So what does?

Leo: Well, apparently he went up against a witch sometime in the seventies. A spell was cast to make as hideous on the outside as he was on the inside. Like this I suppose.

Piper: Does it say what he did to deserve that?

Leo: No, it doesn’t make any sense either. I mean we saw this guy and he’s still looks the same.

Piper: So what does that mean? That Gammill found a way to break the curse and changed his name to Finn?

Leo: I don’t know, but I’m guessing whoever the guy Paige is with does.

Piper: Well, then we need to find Paige and hope that she’s not in trouble so we can find Phoebe and hope that she’s not in trouble.

Leo: Well, I wouldn’t worry about Paige. I mean she’s in a public place. Nobody’s going to hurt her at The Spot.

[Scene: Paige’s apartment. Paige and Finn enter.]

Paige: I wasn’t expecting company so just, uh, give me a sec to clean the place up.

Finn: I really like your place.

Paige: Really? It’s a shoe box compared to yours.

Finn: I’m really glad I didn’t bring you in. You know this is the first time a girl has ever invited me back to her place.

Paige: Well, uh, I just thought the club was kind of noisy and we could, um, hang out here. Um, first actually I have a question.

Finn: About what?

Paige: About your house.

Finn: I don’t really want to talk about that.

Paige: If something bad is going on there, I need for you to tell me about it. Please, my sister could be in trouble.

Finn: I don’t know much. It’s only recently that I’ve started asking questions myself.

Paige: Asking who?

Finn: Gammill.

Paige: What’s his deal?

Finn: I’m not sure.

Paige: Well, how do you know him?

Finn: He made me.

Paige: Made you? What is that like a Mafia thing?

Finn: No. Look give me your hand. Put it here. Do you feel that? I’m not like you. (He places Paige’s hand on his abdomen.)

Paige: Oh, my god.

[Scene: The Spot (P3). Piper and Leo orb into a secure area. There is loud music and the waitresses are dancing on the bar.]

Piper: I got just got, uh, got a creepy shivers myself.

Leo: Now I’m glad you changed the name.

Piper: Oh! Look at the waitresses! Oh, no! Don’t look! They’re practically removing their spots.

Leo: Can you do that in public?

Piper: Uh! Listen to me. Just go look for Paige. Okay? Go. (Piper walks toward the back of the club where a bouncer stops her.)

Bouncer: Hold it! You can’t go in there.

Piper: Excuse me?

Bouncer: It’s the VIP area.

Piper: Oh! You’re assuming because I not tall, tattooed, or big breasted that I’m not important. That’s a bad assumption because I own this club. Which makes me a V.V.VIP. (Treat comes out to meet her.)

Treat: Piper! Piper! Piper! She’s good, man. What’s up girl?

Piper: Hi.

Treat: We got a fly crowd.

Piper: Uh-huh.

Treat: I told you all it needs is a little danger.

Piper: Yeah, that’s exactly what this place lacked. Um, listen. Have you seen my sister Paige?

Treat: Yeah, she was here, but she left. She said it was too noisy.

Piper: She said what?

Treat: It was too noisy. (Piper leaves him and finds Leo trying to get through the crowd, but is caught in between two dancing waitresses. He doesn't seem to mind too much.)

Piper: Excuse me! Hi! Having fun? Let’s go. Paige took Finn to her loft. Let’s go. (They go behind a sofa and orb out.)

[Scene: Outside Paige’s Apartment. Piper and Leo orb in and go inside. They find Paige kneeling in front of Finn.]

Piper: Paige!

Paige: What are you doing here?

Piper: This is ridiculous. It’s like dealing with a teenager.

Paige: I’m just examining him.

Piper: Okay! First of all, you should not have left the club.

Paige: Piper –

Piper: Second of all, you should not be playing doctor with the demon boy.

Paige: Piper –

Piper: Third of all –

Paige: Piper! He has no bellybutton. I can explain. First of all, we left your club because it sucks now. Okay, anytime you try to be that hip. It ain’t hip. And second of all, Finn has no bellybutton because he wasn’t born.

Finn: I was created out of clay.

Leo: In Gammill’s own image. He must be a golem.

Paige: I don’t know the technical term, but I do know that he needs protection from the demon that made him.

Piper: Okay. Hold up! Where is Gammill now?

Finn: At the house, I think.

Leo: We were just there. We didn’t see him.

Finn: That’s because he has his own secret hiding place.

Piper: Could he be hiding our sister Phoebe there?

Finn: No, he probably shrunk her.

Piper: I’m sorry. He probably what?

Finn: Oh, that’s what he does. He takes his wand and shrinks the women for his collection.

Piper: Oh god. The figurines, that’s why they’re each one of a kind. Okay, we have to get back there. We have to find Phoebe.

Finn: Careful. If Gammill’s at the house waiting for you, he’ll shrink you all. I don’t know why he didn’t before.

Piper: Does he still trust you?

Finn: Yeah.

Piper: Okay, then you come with us. You go in first and distract him.

Paige: No, Piper we can’t use Finn as a minesweeper. And besides, isn’t he an innocent?

Piper: Actually, Paige innocents tend to be real.

Paige: Listen. We have to go get Phoebe. First, we should go by your house, check the Book of Shadows to see if there’s a spell to undo shrinking. We’ll bring Finn with us.

Piper: We don’t have time for that.

Paige: Well, we can’t go in there unprepared.

Piper: Unprepared might be our best shot right now. Leo, what do you think?

Leo: I think you need to stop turning to me. Start trying to figure out a way to listen to each other. Piper, you don’t listen to Paige’s ideas. (Paige smiles.) And Paige, you don’t listen to Piper’s advice. I think you guys need to figure out a way how to work as partners.

Piper: We’re partners.

Leo: Equal partners.

Paige: Well, listen. Can we do that tomorrow? Right now we actually need your help.

Leo: All right, well I think the best that I can help is by this. (Leo orbs out.)

Piper: Leo! Great!

Paige: What now?

Piper: Well, I’m just going to have to convince you that I’m right.

Paige: Well, we don’t have all day. Why don’t we just flip a coin?

Piper: Phoebe’s life is at stake.

Paige: All the more reason to make a decision quickly.

Piper: Fine flip.

Paige: Call it.

Piper: Heads. (Paige throws the coin and orbs it to tails.)

Paige: Tails. I win. Fair and square.

[Scene: Manor. Piper, Paige, and Finn enter through the foyer.]

Paige: It’s okay. You’ll be safe here.

Finn: Can I get a glass of water? My skin feels a little dry.

Paige: Oh, yeah. Sure. Uh, the kitchen’s just down there to the left. (As Finn walks into the entranceway Gammill shatters him with his wand then shrinks Piper and Paige.)

Piper: Uh-oh!

[Scene: Finn’s House. Gammill lines up all four women (Piper, Phoebe, Paige, and the innocent woman encased in clay on a shelf.]

Gammill: Time to fire up the kiln. You’re next. (He takes Claudia to the kiln.)

Piper: At least we came for you. (Phoebe groans.) Phoebe, Paige and I are here now. We have the power of three. Can you say a spell? (Phoebe moans.) Okay. We’ll figure this out. Paige, let’s go over our options.

Paige: Options? We have two: We’re screwed and we’re more screwed.

Piper: We don’t need negativity. We need solutions.

Paige: Well, I’m sorry. I’ve never been shrunk and covered in clay before.

Piper: Hey! You wanted to be partners so work with me here. Okay? Are you right? We are screwed.

Paige: Can’t you blast your way out of it?

Piper: I tried. I can’t move my hands.

Paige: I could call for something, but what would help? What’s the point of having powers if you can’t use them.

Piper: What about orbing?

Paige: Would Leo hear us?

Piper: No! You can orb!

Paige: Only in the same place.

Piper: Well, that might work. The clay is still wet enough so it might collapse if you leave for a second.

Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Paige: Yeah. Only one problem, I’ve never been able to orb at will before.

Piper: But that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Just concentrate and relax.

Paige: Relax? Are you kidding?

Piper: Paige, just close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Feel the magic rising from a place of strength. Feel it building and building. Paige, you’re our only hope. (Paige orbs and her clay breaks.)

Paige: It worked. How cool was that? (Her sisters moan.) I know. I know. I’m coming. (Paige breaks Piper and Phoebe’s clay.)

Phoebe: He’s about to put Claudia into the kiln. Piper freeze him. (Piper tries, but nothing happens.)

Piper: Oh, he’s way too big for my tiny magic.

Paige: Do you think I can call for his wand?

Piper: I don’t know. Try it.

Phoebe: Just keep your voice down. If he hears us, we will be cooked.

Paige: Wand. Wand.

Phoebe: Go for it.

Paige: Wand! (The wand orbs to Paige and Gammill hears.) We need a spark.

Piper: Got it! (They shrink Gammill.)

Gammill: Uh-oh!

Phoebe: Can you freeze him now? (Piper freezes him.)

Piper: Yup.

Phoebe: What do you say we take him out Charmed Ones style?

Paige: Don’t we need a spell for that?

Phoebe: That was the good thing about being stuck in clay all day. I had time to think of one. Repeat after me. Small of mind.

Piper/Phoebe/Paige: Small of mind

Phoebe: Big of woe

Piper/Phoebe/Paige: Big of woe

Phoebe: The pain you caused

Piper/Phoebe/Paige: The pain you caused

Phoebe: You now will know.

Piper/Phoebe/Paige: You now will know. (Gammill disappears and the girls are transformed back to normal size.)

Paige: That’s it? That’s the spell you spent all day working on?

Phoebe: Well, it worked. Didn’t it?

Claudia: Oh, my gosh. How did you do that?

Phoebe: The power of three.

Piper: The power of point three.

[Scene: The Spot (P3). David Navarro is singing and the sisters and Leo enter.]

Piper: What do you guys think of the Spot?

Phoebe: Well, the club scored David Nararro. That’s pretty impressive.

Leo: I still can’t get used to the white gauze.

Piper: Well, you don’t have to. I told Treat that I just – I can’t do it. Paige is right. It’s trying way too hard to be hip. Which means it is five minutes away from being five minutes ago. (They go and sit down on a couch. Phoebe raises a toast.)

Phoebe: Okay! To the old! (Paige looks downcast.)

Piper: What’s the matter honey?

Paige: The last time I was here, I was here with Finn. How do you guys get over these things?

Phoebe: You don’t.

Piper: But you learn with experience that you can’t dwell on the losses. You kind of have to –

Paige: Harden your heart.

Piper: Protect your heart. Unfortunately, it’s a fact of our lives that sometimes the good comes with a little sadness.

Leo: There was a lot of good, too.

Phoebe: There was a lot of good. I mean my skin looks fabulous.

Piper: And now that I’ve been five inches tall, I will never complain about my height again. And nor will I doubt your instincts again.

Paige: Thank you.

Leo: Okay, well then there’s just one more thing that we need to tie up.

Piper: Oh, okay. (Leo leads them out behind the club.)

Phoebe: Uh, Leo what are you looking for?

Leo: Something very important.

Paige: Broken glass?

Leo: Broken glass that needs healing. (He finds the broken P3 sign.) Here it is. It’s up to you.

Piper: Can you do it? (Leo nods.) Well, then do it. (Leo heals the sign and it starts to glow.) It looks like P3’s is back.

End