Still Charmed & Kicking/Script

Written by: Brad Kern

Season 8, Episode 01

Episode: 157

[Scene: Manor, outside.]

(A man in a black suit enters the house.)

[Scene: Manor, foyer.]

(The house is filled with people. A man and a woman are talking.)

Man: Goodbye.

Woman: Okay, see you later.

(The woman picks a white rose from a basket filled with white roses and starts writing something in the book lying next to it. Victor is standing in the hall. A man walks over to Victor.)

Man: Victor.

(They shake hands.)

Victor: Thanks for coming by, I really appreciate it.

Man: My condolences.

Victor: Thank you, thank you.

[Scene: Manor, living room.]

(A picture of Piper is standing on a table, next to an urn. On each side of the picture, there is standing a burning candle. There are several white roses laying in front of the picture. A woman lays another one on top of them.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Woman #1: We love you, Piper.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Woman #2: We love you.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Man: I knew you two were close.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Woman #1: I've known her for so many years.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(A woman walks away from the table. The living room is filled with people, all dressed in black.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">[Scene: Manor, conservatory]

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(A picture of Phoebe is standing on a table, next to an urn. On each side of the picture, there is standing a burning candle. There are several white roses laying in front of the picture. Several men and women, including little ones, are standing in front of it. A woman and a man both lay a white rose on top of the other ones.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">[Scene: Manor, dining room.]

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(A picture of Paige is standing on the dining table, next to an urn. On each side of the picture, there is standing a burning candle. There are laying two roses in front of the picture. A little man lays another one on top of them. The man walks away from the table and a woman walks over to Victor. She goes to stand next to him.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Woman (Piper): Pretty good turnout, huh?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Victor: Phoebe?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Piper: No, dad, I'm Piper. That's Phoebe.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(Another woman walks over to Victor)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Woman (Phoebe): I can't believe how many Leprechauns there are at my urn.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Piper: Well, they always had the hots for you.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Phoebe: It's kind of creepy, but I guess you can't be too picky when you're dead.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Victor: You guys are driving me crazy, you know that?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;font-style:inherit;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Piper: Keep it down, will ya? And look a little more bereaved. Agent Keyes is watching.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(They look at man standing in the foyer.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Phoebe: Oh, don't worry. He'll never figure us out. How could he?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Victor: Hey, I can't still figure it out.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Piper: Well, at least we're still alive and, more importantly, free.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Victor: Yeah, but you have to keep changing looks all the time? Just pick one and stick with it, would you?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Phoebe: Why? It's fun.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Piper: Poor Paige, not a lot of people at her urn.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(Suddenly, "Janice Dickinson" walks in.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">"Janice Dickinson": Excuse me.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(She walks straight up to Paige's urn.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Phoebe: Wow, what is Janice Dickinson doing here?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">"Janice Dickinson": Oh, Paige.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Sophie: She knew Paige?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Tom: Wow, I'm impressed.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">"Janice Dickinson": You were the best friend I ever had! What am I gonna do without you?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(Piper and Phoebe walk up to "Janice Dickinson".)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Piper: Can we talk to you in a minute?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Phoebe: In private?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">"Janice Dickinson": Excuse me, what are you doing?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(They take her to the kitchen.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">[Scene: Manor, kitchen.]

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">"Janice Dickinson": What is the meaning of this? Do you have any idea who I am?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Phoebe: Yeah, as a matter of fact we do...

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(She glamours into her own appearance.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Phoebe: Paige.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">"Janice Dickinson": I'm sorry, who?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">(Piper glamours into her own appearance.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Piper: Nice try, jig's up.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">"Janice Dickinson": Oh, all right then, fine.

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">("Janice Dickinson" glamours into Paige.)

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">Paige: Well, somebody had to cry at my funeral, didn't they?

<p style="border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;margin-top:1em;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;vertical-align:baseline;">OPENING CREDITS