A Witch's Tail, Part 1/Script

A Witch's Tail, Pt 1

Written by: Daniel Cerone Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick

Season 5, Episode 01 Episode Number: 89

[Scene: Manor. Piper and Phoebe are walking up the stairs.]

Phoebe: Okay, Piper, I can't be late getting to the office today. I have a radio interview with those morning guys, Pip and Skeeter.

Piper: That's Skip and Peter. (They walk into the hallway.) Could you forget about your advice column for two seconds? Come see where we're putting the nursery.

Phoebe: You're putting it in your closet. I've seen your closet, there's a lot of shoes, honey.

Piper: No, not anymore. (They walk into Piper's room and into the emptied out closet.) Look, it's perfect.

(Leo is there making a hole in the wall to fit a window.)

Phoebe: It's a little cramped though, don't you think?

Leo: That's why I'm adding a window to bring in the light and create a sense of space.

(They walk back into the room.)

Phoebe: Aww, you guys are very cute but why are you doing all of this now? I mean, your due date is not for months.

Piper: Well, demon activity has been light, so it's a good time to get ahead.

Phoebe: Speaking of ahead, I can't believe you guys didn't notice my billboards down town.

Piper: Oh, honey, of course we noticed them. You can see them from a passing 747.

(They laugh.)

Leo: We would've told you how proud we are of you, but you never slow down to give us a chance.

Phoebe: Well, you know, nothing perks up a girl's career like sending her husband straight to hell. Okay, well, I've seen the nursery and it's absolutely beautiful but I really have to go to that interview.

Piper: Uh, honey, I know your work is very important to you but guess what? I'm having a baby.

Phoebe: Aw, I know.

Piper: Yeah, so how about you take a couple of minutes to be Aunt Phoebe.

Phoebe: Oh my god, you are so right. I'm so sorry. Okay, what do you need?

Piper: An opinion. Uh, I'm thinking...

(Paige orbs in.)

Paige: Positions! Bogey in three, two, one... (Suddenly, a demon wearing no shirt and a black and white mask appears. He blows a dart at Paige with a blowgun and she ducks. The dart hits a teddy bear and its head shrinks. Piper and Phoebe gasp. Piper blows up the demon and vanquished him.) So much for the theory that Borneo demons are impervious to magical powers. I can't wait to tell the local witch doctors.

Leo: Okay, excuse me, can we refrain from blowing up demons in the nursery?

Piper: Oh, honey, it was just one.

Leo: Piper, you're going to be a mum, you need to start thinking about the safety of our daughter. (to Paige) And you, you're getting so caught up with this magical kick, I mean, look at your hair. It's so red from the potion you blew up last night.

Paige: Do you have any idea how much this would cost in the salon?

Phoebe: I love your new 'do, honey, I think you look beautiful. (Phoebe gives Paige a quick hug.) Okay, bye.

Paige: Thank you.

Piper: Honey, sweets, toots... I appreciate that you're very concerned but I am still a witch and we do still have innocents to protect and demons to fight. I can't just crawl in a hole.

[Scene: A sea hag's cavern. The walls and floor is made of rock and is placed right beside the sea water. The sea hag walks over to a beautiful blonde haired woman.]

Sea Hag: It's too bad, Mylie, but your time is up. You had thirty days to find love or the penalty would be death.

Mylie: But he does love me, I know he does.

Sea Hag: Oh, really? Did he tell you?

Mylie: He doesn't have to tell me he loves me.

Sea Hag: Well, actually, he does. But he'll never say he loves you until he trusts you. And he'll never trust you until you tell him what you really are. You see why I always win these bargains. (She picks up a large shell.) As an immortal being, I'm afraid only you can give up your life. Place this auger shell over your heart. It will draw your immortality inside.

(Mylie takes the auger shell and five slimy leech-like creatures poke out of the shell.)

Mylie: And if I don't?

Sea Hag: Then you can rot for eternity right here.

(Mylie moves the shell closer to her heart, then suddenly stabs the end of the shell into the sea hag. The sea hag screams in pain and Mylie dives into the sea.)

Mylie: You're wrong. He does love me. And I'm gonna prove it.

(Mylie swims away revealing her gold mermaid tail.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Manor. Piper's room. Piper is sitting on the bed sorting through some boxes. Leo is in the closet sanding down the window frame.]

Piper: Leo, I can't believe you found all of our baby stuff.

Leo: Grams was a bit of a pack rat.

(Piper pulls out a pink album.)

Piper: Baby book. My baby book. (She opens it up.) Oh, look how squishy I was.

Leo: You were so adorable.

Piper: Leo, you can't even see the picture.

Leo: Well, I'm your Whitelighter. I've been watching you ever since you were a baby.

Piper: Uh-huh, yeah, see that's too creepy to think about. I never knew that mum kept a baby book for me.

Leo: Well, why not? I mean, you started one for our daughter. I always thought you and your mum were a lot alike.

(He picks up the window and tries to get it up to the frame.)

Piper: It's strange to think that she went through everything I'm going through right now. I don't think you ever really know how much your mother loves you until you become one yourself.

(Leo drops the window frame and he groans in pain.)

Leo: Ow!

Piper: Oh, are you okay?

Leo: Yeah.

Piper: Here, um, why don't you let me help you?

Leo: No, it's heavy.

(Piper walks over to him, still holding the album.)

Piper: Well, see, that's kind of why I wanted to help you with it.

Leo: Piper, when are you gonna accept the fact that you're pregnant?

Piper: When are you gonna stop being so overprotective?

Leo: Look, all I'm suggesting is that you slow down.

Piper: Okay, Leo, I'm not gonna be one of those women that sits on her ass and eats Bonbons throughout her whole pregnancy. That's just not the woman you married. Besides, generations of Halliwell women raised perfectly normal children before me. They all got through it and so will I.

Leo: Not all of them.

Piper: What's that supposed to mean?

Leo: How far along in the book have you gotten? (Piper flips through the rest of the book and the pages are blank.) There was no one there to finish it after your mother died.

Piper: Oh.

Leo: Like I said, you are a lot like your mother. She was careless too. She thought she was invincible. She was wrong.

[Scene: The sea hag's cavern. The sea hag is sitting down in pain. A very nervous demon with a croaky voice appears squatting near by.]

Demon: Hello. I'm begging your evil pardon. I bear a message from my master.

Sea Hag: Necron.

(The demon stands up, acting like a completely different person.)

Demon: He wants the immortality that you promised him and he wants it now! (The demon squats back down, returning very nervous.) His words, not mine.

Sea Hag: Tell your master he'll get what he wants, but he must be patient.

(The demons gets upset.)

Demon: Oh, no, I can't tell him that. No disrespect, but skeletal beings aren't known for their patience.

Sea Hag: Then you best hurry along.

Demon: I'll do as you ask but it'll be the last thing I do before Necron eats my life force. Then comes for yours.

(He disappears. The sea hag walks to the edge of the sea and holds out her arms.)

Sea Hag: "Water rise up from the sea, find the one who fled from me, follow where the winds are cold, then fall tenfold like days of old."

(The sea water bubbles furiously and thunder is heard.)

[Scene: City. An outside eating area. The sky grows dark and lightning flashes in the sky. Mylie waits anxiously by a fountain.]

Guy: Mylie! (Mylie turns around and sees a guy walking quickly towards her.) Mylie. Hey.

Mylie: Hey. I'm so sorry to pull you out of your meeting.

Guy: You said it was important. What's going on?

Mylie: I need to know how you feel about me. (Craig laughs.) What's so funny?

Guy: You know what I love?

Mylie: No, what?

Guy: Your enthusiasm.

Mylie: Oh. What else?

Guy: Well, I, uh, I love this dimple right here when you smile. (He kisses her dimple beside her mouth.) Mylie, what's going on here?

Mylie: Look, I told you. I need to know how you feel about me deep inside. It's important.

(They walk over to a table and chairs and sit down.)

Guy: Well, listen, I'm gonna be on a plane in like two hours to go to New York and when I get back we'll go out and...

Mylie: No, before you get on the plane. I can't explain right now, but unless you tell me how you feel about me, I may not be here when you get back.

Guy: What's that supposed to mean?

Mylie: I'm sorry, this isn't a threat. It's just, it is what it is.

Guy: Look, Mylie, this isn't the time or the place for this. Whatever I feel for you should come out when I'm ready.

Mylie: But we're running out of time. Look, Craig, I admit that this isn't fair what I'm asking you, but it's what I need right now if you want to keep me in your life.

Craig: Okay, if it's that important, okay. (Mylie smiles.) When I first met you, (it starts to rain) I felt the wall come down, a wall around my heart... (A rain drop falls on Mylie's thigh and gold scales appear.) I mean, I don't how to say this but, uh...

(Mylie stands up.)

Mylie: I've gotta go.

Guy: What? Wait a minute, you just...

Mylie: I'm so sorry, I've gotta go.

(Mylie rushes off, covering her scales with her dress. It starts to pour and Craig runs under cover. He looks back at Mylie who's standing near by out of the rain. A billboard catches Mylie's eye. It's Phoebe's billboard, reading: "Ask Phoebe... She has all the answers. The Bay Mirror." Mylie smiles.)

[Scene: South Bay Social Services. Paige walks in soaking wet. She walks over to her cubicle.]

Mr. Cowan: Matthews! In my office, now!

(She walks into his office.)

Paige: Weather advisory, if you're gonna go outside, bring a paddle.

Mr. Cowan: Where were you?

Paige: Had to run the Mackenzie papers over to the courthouse.

Mr. Cowan: You've been gone an hour.

Paige: Yeah, well, there's a freak rainstorm. The entire city's flooded.

Mr. Cowan: Well, you should've let someone know where you were headed. You have this habit of coming and going as you please.

Paige: As I please? No, I come and go as other people please. That's what assistants do, they run errands. I'll tell you a little secret. They don't like it.

Mr. Cowan: Well, your behaviour's got to change.

Paige: Maybe it'll change if you promote me to social worker.

Mr. Cowan: I already did. You start tomorrow.

[Time lapse. Paige is talking on the phone to Phoebe.]

Phoebe: He promoted you? Congratulations!

Paige: Thanks, I guess.

Phoebe: What do you mean, you guess? Paige, you've worked so hard for this, it's your dream.

Paige: Yeah, Cowan already gave me the big responsibility speech. No more coming to work late, no more long lunches.

[Cut to Phoebe's office. Phoebe's assistant walks in.]

Phoebe: Hold on a second, sweetie.

Assistant: Uh, I've got Nancy O'Dell's producer on the phone, they wanna know if you want hair and makeup.

Phoebe: Uh, no, I will do my own. Thanks.

(The assistant leaves.)

Paige: Nancy O'Dell?

Phoebe: Yeah, she wants to interview me on TV tomorrow.

Paige: Look at you blowing up around town. Billboards, radio, TV... What's next? Phoebe, the world tour?

Phoebe: Oh, no, even better. Divorce court.

Paige: What? I can't believe with all you have going on, you've found time to push a divorce through the system.

Phoebe: I just want my life back. I don't wanna have to look over my shoulder praying that Cole doesn't find a way out of the demonic wasteland, you know.

Paige: Do you think he will?

Phoebe: You know what? I don't care. Because even if he does, after today, I'll be free.

[Cut to an underground parking lot. The ground is wet from the rain. Phoebe walks over to her car and throws her coat and bag in. Mylie sneaks up on her and Phoebe screams.]

Mylie: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just I recognise you from your billboard. I need your help.

Phoebe: Oh, that's sweet, sweetie, but if you write a letter then I respond to everyone.

Mylie: No, you don't understand. I recognised you as a Charmed One. You're very famous where I come from. I'm not evil or anything.

Phoebe: I've heard that one before.

Mylie: No, honestly, I'm... (A car drives past and splashes water onto them. They gasp. Mylie's legs change into a mermaid tail. She falls to the ground. Phoebe rushes over to her.) We need to go.

Phoebe: Well, yeah!

Mylie: The sea hag will track my tail.

Phoebe: (panicking) Well, make it go away!

Mylie: I can't.

(Phoebe pulls Mylie into the passenger side of the car. A gust of wind blows. Phoebe jumps into the drivers seat and starts the car. They back out of the parking space and in front of them, a puddle of water forms into the sea hag.)

Phoebe: Hang on!

(Phoebe drives through the sea hag and the sea hag's body explodes into water, all over the car. Phoebe drives out of the car park. The puddle of water forms into the sea hag once again.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper, Phoebe, Mylie and Leo are there. Mylie is sitting on the couch while Phoebe dries Mylie's legs with a hair dryer. Paige walks in the foyer through the front door and puts her bag and umbrella away.]

Paige: Okay, I just cut work on the day of my big promotion and sped through a rainstorm to get here, what is the 9... (She walks into the living room.) 11?

Leo: Phoebe found a mermaid.

Phoebe: Actually, she found me. On the way to a very important court date, I might add.

Mylie: Hi, I'm Mylie. (She shakes Paige's hand.) You must be Paige. You have a very big underwater fan base.

Paige: You're a mermaid? You guys actually exist?

Piper: Uh, excuse me. When you said, uh, sea hag, did you mean like old woman hag or evil magic hag? Because see, I'm not really in the battle mood today.

Mylie: Uh, she's kinda both.

Piper: Uh-huh.

Paige: Forget that. What's life like under the sea? Does your skin get wrinkly? Does algae pose as a personal hygiene problem.

Leo: Okay, guys, why don't we let her up for a little air.

Mylie: No, it's okay, I don't mind. Actually, there's nothing like being a mermaid. Swim in the open sea all day, explore endless wonders, it's pure freedom.

Phoebe: Sounds like heaven. I'm sure you want to get back. I can drop you off at the beach on my way...

Mylie: Wait, you don't understand. It was a great life. For the first few hundred years.

Leo: Mermaids are immortal.

Mylie: Yeah, we can spend eternity at sea. Because our hearts are, well, some say are as cold as the water. But sometimes a mermaid gets lonely and her heart warms and she wants more.

Paige: Is that what happened to you?

Mylie: Mm-hmm. The ocean's floor is littered with bones of mortals who died for love. I had to know why.

Piper: Now these bones, um, could they be bones of mortals that perhaps the sea hag killed?

Paige: Piper.

Piper: What?

Leo: So you said you wanted to feel love, is that why you went to see the sea hag?

Mylie: Yes. If a mortal professes his love to a mermaid, she becomes human. The sea hag agreed to give me legs but if I didn't find love before her deadline I would have to give her my immortality.

Phoebe: All that for a guy? Boy, did you get taken for a ride.

Paige: Phoebe.

Phoebe: What?

Mylie: But I did find love, I-I mean I think I did. But I might be dead before I get to find out for sure. Craig's getting on a plane to New York soon.

Piper: Oh, no-no-no, this is good. Because all we gotta do is find the fish lover, get him to spill his guts and then we don't have to face the sea hag.

Paige: Piper!

Piper: What?

Paige: If your boyfriend's love can make you human why don't you just tell him you're a mermaid?

Mylie: You mean, that I'm a genetic freak with a fish tail coated in glandular slime?

Leo: She raises a good point.

Phoebe: Yeah.

Paige: You may be half fish, but you're still a woman and women, you know they generally know when a man's in love even before he does.

Phoebe: Oh, puh-lease! If I wrote that slop in my column I'd be driven out of town.

Paige: Okay, that is it. Can I see you two in the kitchen? (Piper, Phoebe and Paige go into the kitchen.) Okay, what is going on with you guys?

Phoebe: I'm sorry, like you need a man to be complete. That kind of thinking dates back to the days we all had tails.

Piper: Maybe Phoebe's right, maybe we just throw the mermaid back into the ocean and we keep the manor a hag-free zone.

Paige: Who are you people and what have you done with my sisters? (to Phoebe) Let's start with you. What is going on in that head of yours?

Phoebe: I keep thinking about the court date I'm missing.

Paige: Okay, so you're dumping all over our innocent?

Phoebe: I don't mean to be. Paige, I've been fighting so hard to get my life back. If Cole shows up and we're still married, then it was all for nothing. I need my freedom.

Paige: Okay, fine. Go meet the judge, just hurry back and we'll deal with Mylie.

(Phoebe walks out of the kitchen as Leo walks in.)

Leo: Where's she going? Everything okay?

Paige: Yeah, Piper and I were just about to discuss how best to vanquish the sea hag.

Piper: No, you said we were gonna deal with Mylie, you didn't say anything about doing anything with the sea hag.

Paige: What is up with you and these demon avoidance issues you suddenly got?

Leo: I think if we can protect Mylie and avoid a run-in with the sea hag, I'm all for that.

Paige: What is going on with everybody? We're talking about the sea hag, the mysterious monster of the deep blue sea, the one who's name strikes fear in the hearts of sailors everywhere.

Piper: Okay, somebody's been watching way too much discovery channel.

Paige: You're probably right but she's an interesting evil specimen. She reminds me of this water demon that I read in the book. She kills in the most fascinating way.

Piper: Paige.

Paige: What?

Piper: We know how it kills.

Paige: What'd I say?

Piper: It killed mum.

Leo: It's okay, you didn't know.

Piper: Look, I just don't see any sense in going up against a demon like this if we don't have to.

Paige: Okay, maybe we can get Craig to confess his love for Mylie. I'll ask her what flight he's on and maybe I can stop him from getting on that plane. But if it doesn't work we're gonna have to come up with a plan B to vanquish the sea hag.

Piper: I know, I will check the Book Of Shadows.

(Paige leaves the kitchen.)

Leo: Are you okay?

Piper: Yeah.

[Scene: The sea hag's cavern. The sea hag is there. The nervous demon appears, crouched down.]

Demon: Hello? Begging your evil pardon.

Sea Hag: I see you're still alive.

(Necron zaps in.)

Necron: Six months ago, I came to this cavern to feed on you. You talked me out of it. What was it you said?

Sea Hag: I promised you an immortal being to give you permanent and everlasting life.

Necron: Yes, that was it. A mermaid I believe. Did you capture her for me?

Sea Hag: No, not yet. (An energy ball forms in his hand.) It's not too late. I can cast a new spell, conjure a storm like San Francisco has never seen. Think what you're giving up if you kill me.

(Necron faces the nervous demon.)

Demon: Oh, now this isn't right.

(Electricity shoots into the demon and sucks his life force out of him. The demon turns to dust.)

Necron: I'm so tired of feeding on lower life forms.

Sea Hag: The mermaid won't get away this time.

Necron: She'd better not, for your sake.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Airport. Boarding gate. Paige orbs into the ladies bathroom and walks out looking around. Craig is getting his ticket from the counter.]

Ticket Agent: Thank you, Mr. Wilson, have a nice flight.

(Craig walks away from the counter and Paige approaches him.)

Paige: Uh, Craig? Craig Wilson?

Craig: Yeah.

Paige: I have a message for you, Mylie sent me.

Craig: Let me guess. She sent me a singing telegram. No-no, strip-a-gram, that's more Mylie's style. Shocking and unexpected.

Paige: I am a friend of Mylie's, she sent me here because she needs to speak with you.

Craig: Why didn't she come herself?

Paige: That's a good question, there's a good answer, I just can't tell you what it is. But it's good.

Craig: Let me get this straight. You're a friend of Mylie's, I've never met you, I've never even heard of you, and you know more about her than I do. Is that right?

Paige: No, not more about her than you do, just a little secret, well, a big secret.

Craig: Well, I'm tired of Mylie's secrets. Okay, I'm tired of her moving closer to me and then running away and I... I'm just tired.

Paige: There's a really good reason for all of this and one day you guys are gonna sit down at a nice seafood dinner and laugh about this. But until then you really need to trust her.

Craig: Well, right now I need to catch a plane. Excuse me.

(He heads for the gate.)

Paige: Craig, her life is in danger.

[Scene: Court house. Judge's chamber. Phoebe, Morris and a judge are there.]

Phoebe: I sent a sheriff to his apartment, to his work, even his dry cleaners. Trust me, your honour, I didn't make a good faith effort to try and notify my husband of our divorce, I made a great faith effort.

Judge: But to grant a default divorce, the court requires that you to put a notice in the local newspaper saying where the missing spouse was last residing. Did you do that?

Phoebe: I made the notice larger than legally required, I even used a 12-pica bold font to make sure it really popped. (She gets a newspaper out of her purse and hands it to the judge.) You see there how it really pops.

Judge: What is your business here, Inspector?

Darryl: I led the investigation to the disappearance of Mr Cole Turner. We used every method at our disposal to find his whereabouts and we still came up empty. It's my belief that Mr. Turner has left the country.

Judge: I must say, young lady, in all my years on the bench I have never seen a divorce push through this fast. Please sign here.

(He hands her a piece of paper.)

Phoebe: Oh, free at last.

Cole's Voice: Is this the right office? (The door opens and Cole walks in.) Cole Turner, your honour. (to Phoebe) Nice ad, thanks for letting me know.

[Time lapse. Corridor. Phoebe and Cole walk out of the room.]

Phoebe: You evil bastard. Why didn't you just stay where you belong?

Cole: Wait a minute, I'm not evil.

(Darryl storms out of the room.)

Darryl: Do you have any idea what you just did to me in there?

Cole: Hold on. (to Phoebe) I'm not evil. I'm good.

Phoebe: You're good at crushing my every hope and dream.

Cole: Well, I'm gonna make up for that.

Darryl: You just made me look like a fool in front of the judge.

Phoebe: You are like a pit bull with a death grip.

Darryl: You know, I should arrest you on principle.

(Cole waves his hand and Darryl turns into a water cooler.)

Cole: Too many people talking at once.

Phoebe: You see, Cole, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Uh, good people don't turn other people into water coolers.

Cole: I needed you to hear me.

Phoebe: Go to hell.

Cole: I was just there. I didn't mean to stay so long but I needed to gather enough powers to execute...

Phoebe: Execute who? Huh? Execute who?

Cole: My plan. I'm hear to redeem myself.

Phoebe: You'd better be careful. You are stepping down a very dangerous road right now.

Cole: I'm already on it. I got my job back at the law firm. I'm gonna use my powers to help people, make up for my past. In time you will see we're meant to be together.

Phoebe: Cole, if you say that again, I swear I'll scream. I want you out of my life.

Cole: I'll keep my distance but I'm not going away. My love for you hasn't changed. It kept me alive in the wasteland, it led me back to you. (Phoebe grabs a letter opener and points it at Cole.) You won't use that. I know you still love me, on some level deep inside.

(He holds the tip of the letter opener and Phoebe cuts his hand. Blood splatters onto some papers.)

Phoebe: You are seriously mistaken if you think I still love you in anyway.

Cole: I wasn't expecting a warm welcome but don't you think this is a little extreme? (His hand magically heals and the blood on the paper bubbles. Phoebe gasps.) Wait.

Phoebe: You stay away from me. Whatever you are.

(Phoebe runs away. Cole waves his hand and the water cooler changes back into Darryl.)

Darryl: What happened? Where's Phoebe?

Cole: She ran off.

Darryl: You're lucky that's all she did.

[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper, Leo and Mylie are there watching the weather report on TV. Piper lowers the volume.]

Piper: Now the book says that the sea hag has power over her natural environment, would that be, like, rainstorms?

Mylie: Yeah. Rainstorms, hurricanes...

Piper: Hurricanes?

Mylie: Even tidal waves.

Piper: Leo, she said tidal waves. How far do tidal waves travel?

Leo: Excuse us. (They move away from Mylie.) What's gotten into you?

Piper: I don't know, I just don't feel like myself.

Leo: Well, our job is to keep the innocent calm. Do you think you can do that while I go talk to the Elders and see if they can help us control the sea hag?

Piper: Sure.

(Leo orbs out. The front door opens and Paige and Craig walk in. They walk into the living room.)

Craig: Hey.

Mylie: You came.

Craig: Yeah, Paige told me your life was in danger. What's going on?

Mylie: I really need to know how you feel about me.

Craig: I can't believe we're back on this. What, are you two in on this joke or what?

Paige: It's no joke, you have to tell her how you feel about her, her life depends on it.

Craig: What is this? The delusional girls club? Come on. (to Mylie) Tell me what's happening.

Mylie: I can't.

Craig: You can't? You yank me out of a business meeting, your friend ambushed me at the airport, I miss my plane and you can't tell me why?

Mylie: No.

Piper: Okay, buddy, look. You obviously wouldn't be here if you didn't care, so why don't you just tell her that you love her for crying out loud.

Paige: Piper, relax.

Piper: What? If he does not do this then we've gotta fight the evil- (Paige stops her.) Person.

Craig: You know what, I'm outta here.

(He starts to leave.)

Mylie: Craig wait. You wanna know what I'm hiding from you? Okay.

(Mylie takes the flowers out of a vase and sits on the couch.)

Piper: Mylie? No, don't!

(Mylie tips the vase water onto her legs and her legs turn into a mermaid tail.)

Mylie: Please don't be afraid. It's still me.

(Craig backs away, frightened.)

Craig: What are you? Geez.

(He races out the door. A gust of wind blows in the living room and the sea hag appears.)

Paige: Did you find a vanquishing spell? (Piper starts to back away.) Piper, freeze her.

(Piper tries to freeze the sea hag but nothing happens. A water ball forms in the sea hag's hand.)

Piper: I can't.

(The sea hag throws the water ball at Paige and Paige is surrounded by a tunnel of water. The sea hag throws another water ball at Piper and Piper ducks behind the couch. The water ball hits the wall. The sea hag turns to Mylie.)

Mylie: Piper! (Piper stays behind the couch, frightened.) Piper, help me! Piper! Help!

(Piper hears a splash of water and Paige coughing. She comes out from behind the couch. Paige is standing there, soaking wet.)

Paige: What happened to you?

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo are there.]

Phoebe: She took our innocent? How could you let that happen?

Piper: I don't know. I think I had a panic attack. I couldn't breathe or move.

Phoebe: Okay, but she took our innocent.

Leo: Let's give Piper a break, okay.

Piper: No, she's right, I froze up, Mylie's gone and it's my fault.

Leo: No, it's not your fault. It's your hormones. Your maternal instincts are kicking in.

Paige: More like taking over.

Leo: It's natural for a mother to feel protective of her baby.

Phoebe: But she's been handling demons ever since she got pregnant. Why the sudden change today?

Piper: I don't know, I just, I don't.

Paige: Let's just focus on finding Mylie. What did you get on the sea hag?

Piper: There's a vanquishing spell, power of three, I, I have it somewhere.

Paige: Okay, what about a location? Did the book say where we can find her?

(Piper shrugs.)

Leo: The Elders say she keeps a cavern on a remote island. She keeps it hidden with charms and spells. The only way to track her is with a mermaid.

Phoebe: Well, unfortunately we're fresh out of those.

Piper: Okay, yeah, well, where were you when this all went down?

Phoebe: I had my own demon to deal with.

Paige: The good news is, is that the sea hag can't steal Mylie's immortality unless she's willing to give it up.

Leo: Which could be any minute.

Paige: True, if she gives up hope, she might wanna die.

Leo: Alright, I'll find Craig, we may need him.

Paige: Try the airport, he was headed to New York.

(Leo orbs out.)

Piper: I'll try to locate the sea hag.

Phoebe: Oh, honey, I'm sorry, I might've been pushing too hard. Why don't you let me and Paige worry about the sea hag?

Piper: No, 'cause I've got to...

Phoebe: Rest. If not for your sake then for my niece. All this stress can't be good.

Paige: She's right.

(Piper lays down on the couch.)

[Scene: Sea hag's cavern. The sea hag and Mylie are there. The sea hag is holding the auger shell.]

Sea Hag: I underestimated you. They always come back to me with empty hearts begging me to end their lives. But you, you almost found love.

Mylie: I did find love.

Sea Hag: Maybe he did love you but I'm afraid that's over, my dear child, now that he knows what you are. (Mylie's eyes fill with tears.) It's time to embrace your fate. (The sea hag shows her the shell. Mylie knocks it out of her hands.) The pain you're feeling won't go away. (She picks up the shell.) As an immortal creature, can you bear to live with it for eternity?

(The sea hag disappears. Mylie starts to cry.)

[Scene: A restaurant. It's empty accept for Darryl and a shooter. Darryl is hiding behind a booth while the shooter fires his gun near Darryl. He calls for backup on his radio and shoots at the shooter.]

Darryl: This is the last time I come to this place for lunch.

(The shooting stops and Darryl reloads his gun. He comes out from behind the booth and walks through the restaurant. He hears a noise behind him and spins around. The shooter fires at Darryl and the bullets heading straight for Darryl slow down to nearly a stop. Darryl looks confused. Cole appears behind him.)

Cole: Thought you could use a little help.

Darryl: Yeah, you thought right.

Cole: Let's go get the bad guy.

Darryl: What'd you do?

Cole: Gave us a little extra time.

(They walks over to the shooter.)

Darryl: Yeah, I can see that. Why?

Cole: You mean, other than to save your ass? Well, I need to show Phoebe that I am good, I help you make this collar, you look good to your bosses, it's a win-win proposition.

Darryl: What if I don't want your help?

Cole: I could always turn you into a water cooler. Got cuffs? (Darryl hands him his cuffs.) Thanks. (He takes the gun off the shooter.) Here, hold this. (He hands Darryl the gun.) So anyway, if you need help with your cases, supernatural or otherwise, I'm at your service. (He puts the cuffs on the shooter.) I'm gonna prove to everyone that I'm not evil. (Cole waves his hand and the shooter and the bullets return to normal speed. The bullets hit a wine cabinet. The shooter looks at Cole and Cole punches him in the face, knocking him out.) Whether they like it or not.

Darryl: Look, she doesn't want you. Why don't you just give it up?

Cole: Because I'm in love. Don't forget to tell her what I did.

(Cole disappears.)

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe is reading through a spell Paige has written. Paige is pacing up and down.]

Phoebe: This is really good. Adding Eastern thinking to Western wicca. (Paige's phone rings.) It should definitely break through the sea hag's protective charms. Are you gonna answer your phone?

Paige: Uh, no, it's my boss. I've been gone all afternoon.

Phoebe: Okay, then can we turn it off?

Paige: Do you think it's possible to get promoted and fired on the same day?

Phoebe: Paige, please, just turn off the phone.

Paige: You know, maybe in our new destiny this job just isn't meant to be.

Phoebe: Okay.

(Phoebe grabs the phone and slams it on the table.)

Paige: Okay, interesting. Phoebe?

Phoebe: Mm.

Paige: What is going on?

Phoebe: He's back.

Paige: Who?

Phoebe: Cole.

Paige: What?

(Phoebe pulls the letter opener out of her purse and shows Paige. The tip of it has been eaten away from acid.)

Phoebe: This is his blood. Blood is not supposed to do that.

Paige: You stabbed him?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Paige: Good.

Phoebe: He wants me back. He wants me back and I just wanna run. As fast and far as I can. I swear, if I had your power, Paige, I would orb myself to a rock in the middle of the sea. He has put me through so much and I just, I don't want to go through it again.

Paige: Okay, running is not the answer. Don't give him that power over you. You have built a great life for yourself.

Phoebe: That doesn't matter. I'm too tired to fight him. And I don't even know if I could. He's got all these new demonic powers now.

Paige: You know what? Turn your anger towards the sea hag. After we deal with her, I'll test Cole's blood and come up with a magic way to keep him from you, okay?

Phoebe: Okay. Thank you. Let's see if this spell that you wrote works. I will go find Piper.

Paige: Oh, Piper. I'm kinda worried about her. She picked maybe the worst time to come up with a massive demon phobia. You think she's gonna be okay to take on the sea hag?

Phoebe: Well, I think pregnancy is an emotional time and anything can happen.

(Piper walks in.)

Piper: I'll be fine. Okay, let's go, we've got a job to do.

Paige: You sure you're up to it?

Piper: Well, I don't have a choice. It's a power of three spell, right? One, two, three.

Phoebe: Should we wait for Leo to find Craig before we go?

Piper: No, Mylie needs us now.

(Phoebe hands them each a piece of paper.)

Paige: Okay, if the spell works, it should take us straight to the sea hag.

Piper, Phoebe, Paige: "Powers of the witches rise, find the hag who speaks in lies, balance chakras focus chi, lead us through the cruel cruel sea."

(Nothing happens but then suddenly Phoebe falls to the floor.)

Phoebe: Whoo!

(Piper and Paige look down to find Phoebe turned into a mermaid.)

Paige: Oh.

Commercial Break

[Scene: The beach. Piper, Phoebe and Paige orb in. Phoebe falls into the water.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Paige: Sorry, couldn't hold you.

(Phoebe tries to get up.)

Piper: Phoebe, you can't stand, you don't have legs.

Phoebe: Okay, well, why me? (She throws a little tantrum.) Why did I get the tail? We all said the spell together!

Paige: Maybe because you're the best swimmer?

Phoebe: Yeah, at the Y! But this is the ocean! It is very cold and I am allergic to shellfish!

Piper: Okay, forget that. Do you sense the sea hag? Is she close?

Phoebe: How should I know?

Piper: Well, maybe if you put your head underwater.

Phoebe: And get my hair wet?

Piper: Phoebe, you're a mermaid.

Paige: You should be able to sense the sea hag. My spell worked but not the way I envisioned it.

(Phoebe holds her nose and dives underwater. Leo orbs in.)

Leo: I found Craig. He was on a plane on his way to New York. Why am I standing in the ocean?

Piper: Phoebe's a mermaid.

Leo: Oh. Well, that would explain it.

(Phoebe pokes out of the water.)

Phoebe: Whoo! Dive in! The water's great.

Piper: Phoebe, get back here this instant!

(Phoebe dives back under and pops back up next to them in a second's flat.)

Phoebe: The call of the sea's intense. Just like Mylie said it was.

Piper: Well, ignore it. Did you find the sea hag?

Phoebe: Now that you mention it there was a stench under the water.

Leo: That could be the sewage treatment plant.

Piper: We'll take our chances, follow the stench.

Phoebe: How?

Piper: I don't know. Get in touch with your inner fish. And then when you find the cavern, call for Leo and we will orb there.

Phoebe: Okay.

(Phoebe dives back in the water and swims away.)

Paige: That's actually the most fun I've seen Phoebe have since Cole died.

Leo: Which time?

Paige: Good point. Okay, you guys ready? T-minus sea hag and counting. Piper, have you got the power of three spell? (No answer.) Piper, are you okay?

Piper: I'm fine. Everything's under control.

[Scene: The sea hag's cavern. Mylie is sitting there. The sea hag appears.]

Sea Hag: Are you ready to make your pain go away?

Mylie: Yes.

Sea Hag: Necron will be pleased. (She holds up the auger shell.) It doesn't hurt, I promise. The auger shell brings peace.

(Mylie takes the auger shell and places it on her heart. It glows. Phoebe arrives in the water near by.)

[Cut to the beach.]

Leo: She's calling. Let's go.

Paige: Come on, come on, let's go.

(They join hands and start to orb out. Piper lets go of their hands and Leo and Paige orb out without her. She leans against a rock, frightened.)

[Cut to the sea hag's cavern. Leo and Paige orb in.]

Phoebe: Where's Piper?

Paige: She let go of my hand. (The sea hag throws a waterball at Paige and she ducks.) Enough with the water. Shell!

(The shell orbs into Paige's hand. It reveals a bloody spot on Mylie's chest. The sea hag flicks her arm and seaweed appears tightly around Paige. Paige drops the shell into the water. Phoebe dives down to get it. Leo grabs a sword and swings it at the sea hag. She disappears and reappears and throws a waterball at Leo. He is surrounded by a tunnel of water. Phoebe jumps out of the water and throws the auger shell at the sea hag. It attaches itself to her and she screams. She turns into a pile of dust. The tunnel of water disappears from Leo and Paige frees herself from the seaweed.)

Phoebe: Is everyone okay?

Paige: Yeah.

(Leo goes over to Mylie.)

Leo: No, she's dying.

Phoebe: Can you heal her?

(Leo tries to heal Mylie but it doesn't work.)

Leo: It's no use, she's not human.

Paige: No, not yet. Get Craig, hurry.

(Leo orbs out.)

Phoebe: She should've stayed in the water. She could've avoided all of this.

Paige: Can we stay positive please?

Commercial Break

[Scene: The sea hag's cavern. Leo orbs in with Craig.]

Craig: Get your hands off me! (He looks around.) What, what just happened? Where am I?

Phoebe: Somewhere off the north Atlantic would be my gut instinct.

Craig: How... What... Who are you people?

Paige: Witch.

Leo: Angel.

Phoebe: Mermaid.

Paige: Don't you mean witch?

(Craig looks at Mylie lying unconscious.)

Leo: I know this is hard to accept, but all that matters is she's dying and you can help her.

Craig: What can I do?

Paige: Tell her how you feel. Your love can save her.

Craig: My love? How can I love her? I mean, look at her. She's got a...

Leo: Really beautiful heart.

Phoebe: Now you know what she is, but who she is, you've always known that.

Craig: (to Mylie) I do love you...

(Mylie turns human. Leo quickly takes off his coat and hands it to Craig. Craig covers Mylie's naked body. Leo heals Mylie and she wakes up. She sees Craig and smiles. They kiss.)

Mylie: Thank you. Thank you for everything.

Leo: Okay, I hate to cut this short but I can sense Piper's panic and I think we should get back to her and let her know that everything's alright. (Paige and Leo walk over to Phoebe.) Phoebe, take my hand, I'll orb you back.

Phoebe: Nope, I'm staying in the ocean.

Paige: Okay, just meet us back at the beach. You swim so fast you'll probably beat us there anyway.

Phoebe: No, I'm staying in the ocean, I'm not going back.

Paige: I don't understand.

Phoebe: Paige, it's everything that Mylie said it was. It's complete freedom.

Mylie: The call of the sea. It'll turn her heart cold if she lets it.

Leo: Okay, Phoebe, get out of the water.

(Phoebe backs away.)

Phoebe: No.

Paige: Phoebe, take my hand.

Phoebe: No!

Paige: Phoebe, fight it!

Phoebe: I don't wanna fight it. I just wanna be free.

(Phoebe swims away.)

Paige: Phoebe!

To be continued...