Bite Me/Script

Written by: Curtis Kheel

Season 4, Episode 18

Episode No. 84

[Scene: Manor. Living room. A demon throws a lightning ball at Piper and she dives over the couch. The demon then throws another at the couch, destroying it.]

Piper: Paige, where are you! (Paige orbs in with Phoebe.) Look out!

(The demon is about to throw another lightning ball and Phoebe knocks her arm. The lightning ball hits the piano. The demon punches Phoebe and she flies against the fireplace. Piper runs over and kicks the demon. She gets a spell out of her pocket.)

Piper, Phoebe, Paige: "Cause of pain we have dissevered, demon you are gone forever."

(The demon is vanquished.)

Piper: Sorry to bother you but she was immune to my powers.

(They stand up.)

Phoebe: That's okay, I was just getting ready to leave work.

(Paige notices a scratch on Phoebe's shoulder.)

Paige: Oh, honey, you're hurt.

Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it's just a scratch.

Piper: How's it going? How's the new place?

Phoebe: Great, and great. How about you?

Piper: Can't complain.

Paige: Ditto.

Phoebe: It's good to know that we can live apart and still kick some butt if we have to, right? So do I wanna ask about this demon with the bad manicure?

Piper: Ah, Harpi. Part of a faction. Tried to kill us to move up in the world. You know, pretty standard stuff. You wanna stay for dinner?

Phoebe: Mm, I would love to but Cole is planning this whole romantic thing for us tonight.

Piper: Yeah, I just thought, you know, maybe we could talk.

Phoebe: Why? Are you okay? Is everything okay?

Piper: Yeah, everything's fine, I just thought maybe we could catch up. Another time.

Paige: Do you want me to, um, orb you home?

Phoebe: No, Cole's not so crazy about you orbing in without calling first. Except for emergencies, you know. You understand.

Paige: Sure. Whatever.

Phoebe: Okay. I'm gonna go. (There's an awkward silence.) I'll call you guys.

(Phoebe leaves.)

Paige: No orbing?

Piper: Don't start with the suspicions, Paige. Cole's probably just trying to protect their privacy.

(Piper walks away.)

Paige: He's trying to protect something.

[Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole is there having a meeting with about six other demons.]

Cole: I'm just trying to protect our assets. And the only way to do that is to cut our losses. Consolidate our resources. Keep the competition from killing you. Us.

Demon #1: Fine, what are you proposing?

Cole: A merger. Everyone here has some merge enders, right? So, why don't we work together to accomplish them? (A Fury smokes in.) You're late. Sit down. (The Fury and a Grimlock sit at the table.) Where was I?

Demon #1: You were just encouraging us to hold hands and be friends.

Cole: It's a new millennium. We need to think of new ways to ensure our own survival. Let's face it, it's a demony demon world out there. Each one of you leads a faction, but that is the problem. You're too busy trying to kill each other. In the end, everyone loses.

Demon #2: Tell that to the Grimlocks. They tried to vanquish us just last week.

Grimlock: You had it coming.

Demon #2: Care to try again.

(They stand up and face each other.)

Cole: My point exactly. In fighting has always been our undoing. And I have learnt from the humanity in me, the only way for us to defeat good is to work together to achieve common goals.

(Demon #2 and the Grimlock sit back down.)

Demon #1: And who will decide what these goals are? You?

Cole: Unless someone wants to challenge me. (The elevator dings.) Meeting's adjourned. (The demons shimmer, smoke, etc. out. Cole waves his hand and the table disappears. The elevator door opens. Cole waves his hand once more and a smaller table appears set out with candles. Phoebe walks in.) Hi, honey. You're home early.

(She smiles.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole has served breakfast.]

Cole: Vegetarian eggwhite omelette just the way you like it.

(He kisses the top of her head.)

Phoebe: That's sweet, honey, but I think my stomach has other plans.

Cole: What's the matter?

Phoebe: Headache, upset stomach. It's going around right now.

Cole: So, maybe you should call in sick.

Phoebe: While so many relationships are in peril? What would San Francisco do without my advice column? I gotta go. (They kiss.) Um, I wanna invite my sisters over for dinner this week. Is that okay?

Cole: Well, we just moved out.

Phoebe: Yeah, I know, but I wanna show them the place. Besides, I don't want them to think that they're not still part of my life, you know.

Cole: Fine, just no orbing, alright?

Phoebe: Already taken care of.

(He goes to kiss her and sees the scratch on her shoulder.)

Cole: What happened?

Phoebe: Oh, nothing, my shoulder just got in the way of a Harpis claw, that's all.

Cole: A Harpi? You got attacked? Why didn't you tell me?

Phoebe: Because I didn't think it was that big of a deal, that's why.

Cole: Well, it is to me! Sorry, I'm sorry. (He puts his arms around her.) It's just I think I deserve to know when my wife gets hurt.

Phoebe: You're right, you do.

(They kiss. Julie walks in.)

Julie: Excuse me, Mr. Turner. Your 9:00 is waiting in the lobby.

Phoebe: Julie. What are you doing here? You didn't tell me she was here.

Cole: Well, we're working at the apartment today, they're painting my office. You don't mind do you?

Phoebe: No, no. Of course not. (They kiss. Julie rolls her eyes.) Make yourself at home.

Julie: I will, thank you. (Phoebe leaves.) Pretty little witch if you're into that sort of thing.

Cole: I am. Get the leader of the Harpis. I want to explain to her the consequences of attacking my wife.

(Julie shimmers out.)

[Scene: A cave. The vampire queen is lying on some cushions while other women vampires pamper her. Demon #1 is there talking to the queen.]

Queen: You don't really expect me to wage war on the new Source without even talking to him first, do you?

Demon #1: It's a waste of time. He'll never bring you back from exile. He's heard the stories of what you did.

Queen: That was a different time. And a different Source.

Demon #1: Still, it's not going to happen. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure of that.

Male Vampire: Then what makes working for us any better than working for him?

Demon #1: You oughta listen better. I don't work for anyone. We'd be equals. Partners. And once the Source is dead, we'd go our separate ways. So?

Queen: I'll let you know. When I'm ready. (Demon #1 shimmers out.) I want you to offer the new Source an olive branch.

Male Vampire: And if he refuses?

Queen: Then Keats has a new ally and we have a new enemy. (The male vampire walks away.) Go. (The women vampires leave her alone.)

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper is there washing the dishes. Leo walks in.]

Leo: Plenty of leftovers. You probably won't have to do any cooking for a week.

Piper: I like to cook.

Leo: Well, there's less dishes to do and that's a good thing, right?

Piper: I guess. It's just with Phoebe and Cole gone it's so quiet around here. Everybody I grew up with is gone.

Leo: Still, we can make it noisy again, with kids. (He puts his arms around her.) People who will grow up with us. We have an extra room now, right?

Piper: Right.

(They kiss. Paige walks in.)

Paige: Ooh, sorry, am I interrupting?

Leo: Uh, actually, I need to get going. There's an upsurge in demonic activity and the Elders wanna figure out why.

Paige: Well, since that demonic activity spilled into our living room last night, I'm assuming it has something to do us.

Leo: I'll keep an eye out and let you know if I find anything out. (to Piper) I love you.

Piper: I love you too.

(They kiss and he orbs out.)

Paige: You okay?

Piper: Me? Yeah, I'm fine.

Paige: Liar. Look, I know I am not Phoebe but I am still your sister and you can talk to me.

Piper: It's, it's just silly. My, uh, period was late this month by a couple of days and I guess I got my hopes up a little.

Paige: That's not silly, honey, you want kids, right?

Piper: Yeah, of course, it's just that we've been trying...

Paige: For a couple of months

Piper: Four. But who's counting.

Paige: Oh, Piper, you're not baking cookies, you know. It's gonna take some time.

Piper: Yeah, I know, I guess I was just worried that something could be wrong. Getting flung around by demons isn't exactly conducive to making babies.

Paige: Okay, a) you're gonna have kids, you saw that in your future, and b) I am living proof that magic happens when Whitelighters and witches get together. So the sooner you stop worrying about it, the sooner I will be an aunt.

Piper: Thanks.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole and Julie are there.]

Julie: The leader of the Harpis won't be coming to see you. I'm afraid things got out of hand for her.

Cole: Nice work. What's next?

Julie: Rowan's waiting to see you. Apparently the queen would like in on the new alliance.

Cole: Send him in.

(Julie points to the blinds and they close, making the room dark.)

Julie: He'll see you now.

(Rowan walks out from the corner of the room over to Cole.)

Rowan: Thank you for the audience. Queen sent me to...

Cole: You can tell your queen that if she steps a foot inside my realm, she'll beg me to banish her again.

Rowan: Sent me to tell you that we've learnt our lesson, and we're willing to serve you.

Cole: No thanks. I already have enough demons betraying me.

Rowan: You haven't even heard our offer.

Cole: I think you should be leaving now. (Paige orbs in.) Paige.

Paige: Oops, I just thought I'd pop in.

Rowan: From where?

Paige: Uh, the kitchen. I'm not interrupting anything am I?

Cole: No, we're done here. Elevator's that way, Rowan. (Rowan leaves.) What the hell do you think you're doing? This is exactly why I don't want you people orbing in here.

Paige: You people? Nice.

Cole: What do you want?

Paige: Phoebe. I think Piper needs to talk to her.

Cole: Well, you missed her. But why don't you orb on over to the newspaper, I'm sure those journalists can keep a secret.

Paige: Just tell her I stopped by, okay? And I gotta ask, why is it so dark in here in the middle of the day?

Cole: Migraine. Which you're only adding to.

Paige: You know, what, Cole? Just bite me.

(Paige walks outside. Rowan is there waiting for the elevator. The elevator dings and the doors open.)

Rowan: After you. (Paige walks in the elevator and Rowan follows.) Nice guy, huh? Uh, Cole.

Paige: You a lawyer?

Rowan: No. Why?

Paige: Because only another lawyer would think that.

Rowan: No, I was being sarcastic.

Paige: About being a lawyer.

Rowan: No, about thinking he was a nice guy.

(Paige laughs.)

Paige: Sorry.

Rowan: I'm Rowan.

Paige: Paige. Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.) So how long have you disliked Cole?

Rowan: Um, ever since I first met him. (Paige laughs.) You?

Paige: Uh, pretty much just recently, ever since he married my sister. You have any siblings?

Rowan: Oh, yeah, my family's real big.

Paige: Then you know what it's like to have to bite your tongue.

Rowan: Been there done that. Listen, uh, I'd like to continue this but we've just run out of floors. Any chance we could get together?

Paige: Well, my sister, my other sister owns this nightclub called P3 and I'll be there later if you wanna stop by.

Rowan: I'll drop in.

Paige: Okay. (She walks out of the elevator.) Are you coming?

Rowan: Oh, no, underground parking.

[Cut to the underground. The vampire cave. Rowan is there talking to the queen.]

Queen: You're certain of your identity?

Rowan: She's the sister of the Source's new bride. That makes her a Charmed One.

Queen: This might be our lucky day. And you said meeting with the new Source would be useless.

Demon #1: He refused your offer, didn't he.

Queen: Yes, but he gave us something much more valuable instead. If we can get a Charmed One on our side, we can use her magic to take over the underworld before the new Source can. We can destroy him and anyone else who apposes us.

Demon #1: Yeah, but she's a witch. They don't change sides on a whim.

Rowan: Oh, I think I can get her to see things our way. With your permission of course.

Queen: By all means. Take whomever you need.

[Scene: P3. Paige is waiting around for Rowan. Piper and Leo walk over to her.]

Piper: Your mystery man still pulling a disappearing act?

Paige: I can't believe he stood me up.

Piper: Well, I'm glad I'm not dating anymore.

Paige: Yeah, well, I should've known better to think I could meet a guy through Cole.

Piper: Paige, I have two words for you. Broken and record. If you keep this up, you're just gonna end up pushing Phoebe further away.

Leo: She's right.

Paige: That's more than two words.

(Phoebe walks up to them.)

Phoebe: Hi. Do I still get free drinks here or do I have to pay now?

Piper: Whoa, you don't look so good. Are you okay?

Phoebe: That's partly why I'm here. I thought it was just a bug and now I'm not so sure. So I'm wondering if maybe it has something to do with, you know, the scratch.

Paige: Maybe you're turning into a Harpi. Oh, god, are you?

Phoebe: Well, that's how Piper turned into a Wendigo. Or is it the fury?

Piper: I've turned into so many things, I can't keep track.

Leo: You know, I wouldn't worry, you can't turn into a Harpi just by getting scratched.

Phoebe: Yeah, but still, do you know mind, you know...

(Leo goes to heal Phoebe's shoulder but Piper stops him.)

Piper: Hey, hey, hey, a little discretion in in public.

(Piper slaps him on the arm.)

Leo: Hey.

(Phoebe and Paige slap him too.)

[Time lapse. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo are in another room. Leo is healing Phoebe's arm.]

Leo: Feel any better?

Phoebe: A little I think.

Piper: So any word from the Elders on what's going on?

Leo: No, not yet.

Phoebe: Why, what's going on?

Piper: A lot of bad guys, apparently more than usual.

Phoebe: Should we be worried?

Piper: Nope, not until after dinner. You wanna join us?

Phoebe: Um, okay, sure why not.

Paige: I'm not, I'm gonna go. I don't want Rowan thinking I was waiting for him if he shows up this late.

Piper: God forbid. (to Leo) You buying?

Leo: Uh, you kidding?

(Piper and Leo leave the room.)

Paige: Phoebe, uh, I think you should try to find a moment to talk to Piper.

Phoebe: Why, is something wrong?

Paige: No, not really, I just think she could use your support about something. That's why I orbed over to your place this morning...

Phoebe: Wait, you orbed over to my place? After I specifically asked you not to. Paige, what were you thinking?

Paige: I was just trying to help Piper.

Phoebe: Was Cole upset?

Paige: A little... a lot.

Phoebe: Great, Paige. Just great.

(Phoebe leaves the room.)

Paige: I was just trying to help.

[Cut to outside P3. Paige heads for her car. She hears a noise and looks around. She walks quicker to her car and suddenly a bat flies down and bites her. She falls to the ground. Dozens of bats fly down and start attacking her. She screams. The bats fly off.]

Commercial Break

[Scene: Hospital. A room. Paige is lying on a bed with bite marks over her face. A doctor is standing beside her bed.]

Paige: So am I the weirdest case you've ever seen?

Doctor: I don't know. I've worked the night shift for a while now. Seen some pretty strange things.

Paige: Yeah, but these were bats, doc.

(Piper, Phoebe and Leo race in the room.)

Phoebe: Paige, Paige, oh my god. Are you okay?

Piper: What happened?

Paige: Bats. Lots of bats.

Doctor: Are you the sisters?

Phoebe: Yeah. Is she gonna be alright?

Doctor: Honestly, if she hadn't been found by somebody in time, she might've bled to death.

Leo: But she's gonna be okay?

Doctor: Yes. Have some rest, and rabies shots.

Paige: Ouch.

Piper: You got attacked by bats outside of my club? That can't be natural. Can it?

Doctor: Well, bat bites aren't completely unheard of in this city. I have a friend over at county, he treated one a couple of months ago.

Paige: Right, but these were bats plural.

(The doctor's pager beeps.)

Doctor: I'll be right back. Excuse me.

(He leaves the room.)

Leo: Sounds more natural than supernatural to me.

Paige: Yeah, well, I'm thinking vampires.

Piper: Vampires? That'd be different.

Phoebe: No, that's not possible.

Paige: Why not?

Phoebe: Well, because as far as I know, vampires attack in human form and not as a swarm of bats. You know, it's gotta be something else.

Leo: It's true, vampires have been ostracized from the underworld for centuries. As far as I know they're apart of a whole different network now.

(The doctor and a nurse walks in.)

Doctor: I'm sorry, Lisa here is going to draw some blood so we can run some tests.

Paige: That mean I can go home?

Doctor: I don't see why not. (The nurse gets Paige's arm ready to draw blood.) I'm gonna get you started on antibiotics and we've scheduled first of the rabies shots in the morning.

(The doctor leaves. The nurse gets out a needle and draws Paige's blood.)

Nurse: Okay, make a fist. Relax your hand now. Almost done.

(Phoebe makes a noise.)

Leo: Are you okay?

Paige: Yeah, as long as I don't look.

Leo: No, I didn't mean you...

(Phoebe faints.)

Piper: Phoebe?

[Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole and Julie are there.]

Cole: Damn it. Where is she?

Julie: What about the Grimlocks?

Cole: The Grimlocks? You think they attacked her? If they did, I'll crush their skulls with my bear hands.

Julie: Who said romance is dead. We were talking about who we can trust, remember? Grimlocks... yay or nay?

Cole: I'm sorry. Uh, yeah, Grimlocks are okay. Keats is the only one I don't trust. (The phone rings.) That's gotta be her.

Julie: We can only hope.

(Cole answers the phone.)

Cole: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Hi, honey.

Cole: Are you alright? I-I called your cell, you didn't pick up.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, that's probably because I was unconscious.

Cole: What? Did a demon hurt you?

[Cut to Piper's car. Leo is driving, Piper is in the passenger seat and Phoebe and Paige are in the back seats.]

Phoebe: (on phone) No, it was nothing like that. I just, uh, I fainted.

Cole: Fainted?

(A car's lights shine in the window. Paige flinches.)

Paige: Oh, why do people gotta keep their high beams on?

Phoebe: Yeah, it wasn't a big deal.

Cole: Phoebe, people just don't faint for no reason.

Phoebe: Well, I've been pretty run down and the doctor said I might be anaemic so he took some blood to make sure that's all it is.

Cole: Well, maybe you oughta get Leo to check that Harpi scratch in case...

Phoebe: I already did and he said there's nothing to worry about. Besides, we have bigger demonic issues that we have to deal with right now. Paige was bitten by a bunch of bats.

Cole: Bats? Are you sure?

Paige: (to herself) I'm sure he's all broken up about it.

Phoebe: Yeah, she's okay, Leo's gonna heal her when we get home. So you wanna meet us there?

Cole: I am home, Phoebe, you called me.

Phoebe: I meant the manor. I'm sorry.

[Cut to Cole.]

Cole: I'm on my way. (He hangs up.)

Julie: You think it was Rowan?

Cole: He must have been trying to turn her.

Julie: You can't let them get a Charmed One on their side, they'll be too powerful.

Cole: Don't you think I know that! Damn it. Gather the faction leaders. The queen wants a war she's got one.

(He heads for the door.)

Julie: Where are you going?

Cole: To the manor. To help save... Paige.

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo are there. Piper is looking through the Book of Shadows. Leo is healing Paige.]

Piper: Manticore.

Phoebe: Fights but doesn't fly.

Piper: Phoenix.

Phoebe: Flies but doesn't fight.

Piper: Chupakobra.

Phoebe: God bless you. Flies and bites but only attacks livestock.

Leo: What about shapeshifters?

Paige: What about this being a waste of time. Look at me, I'm fine. Let's just call it a night.

Piper: Paige, if you're tired, just go to bed. We'll wake you up if we find something.

Paige: Fine. I'll be asleep.

(She leaves the attic.)

Piper: She's a delight.

Leo: She's been through a lot, she just needs some rest.

Phoebe: Isn't there some way you can help us narrow down the suspects?

Leo: With every demonic faction in town it makes it kinda hard.

Phoebe: Okay, so what's going on? Is there a demon convention in San Francisco or what?

Piper: Yes, there is a demonic electoral college, they've called a meeting and they're voting in a new Source.

(Phoebe and Leo laugh.)

Phoebe: You think?

Piper: Well, not the voting part, but maybe I mean, there's gotta be somebody pretty powerful that's bringing together these factions, which means...

Leo: Evil may have a new leader.

(Cole walks in.)

Phoebe: Cole.

Cole: Honey, I came as soon as I could.

(Phoebe races over and hugs him.)

Phoebe: I'll be fine, don't worry.

Cole: How's Paige? Where is she?

Leo: She's sleeping, I healed her.

Cole: Are you sure?

Leo: Yeah, why?

Piper: Do you know what we're up against?

Cole: Well, bats that bite can only mean one thing. Vampires.

Phoebe: No, we ruled them out. It doesn't seem like their MO.

Cole: Have you ever seen a vampire?

Phoebe: No, but I've read about them.

Cole: Well, I've dealt with them. You can trust --- you can trust me.

Piper: I think he may be right.

Leo: Wait, you dealt with vampires as a demon? How is that possible? I thought they were pariahs in the underworld.

Cole: Well, I wasn't too picky who I dealt with. I didn't care that the Source had banished them for selling him out to his enemies.

Leo: Well, why attack a Charmed One now? What do they want?

Cole: Well, there must be a power struggle. They must be trying to overtake the underworld.

Phoebe: By killing Paige?

Cole: No, by turning her into a vampire.

Piper: Paige! (They leave the attic and go into Paige's room. It's dark and they turn on the light.) Where'd she go?

(They see Paige hanging upside down from the roof.)

Phoebe: Oh my god! Paige.

(Paige turns into a bat.)

Cole: Watch out!

(She flies out the window.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe tips out some stuff from a box.]

Phoebe: I ransacked the whole house and this is all I could find.

Piper: Okay, so what do we do about the holy water?

Leo: I can get some.

Cole: You know, that stuff's only gonna help you fight off the vampires, it's not gonna change Paige back.

Paige: Yeah, I'm working on that. According to the book, if you kill a vampire queen then all her little vampires die with her.

Cole: Really? Interesting. They certainly don't like the spread that around.

Phoebe: But that's not gonna work because then it'll kill Paige too.

Piper: No, not if she hasn't bitten anyone. Apparently the transformation only takes place after blood is spilled. Or in this case sucked.

Phoebe: Okay, so we have to kill the queen fast. How do we vanquish her?

Piper: With the power of three.

Phoebe: Ugh, of course. Can't anything be easy?

Piper: Oh, it gets worse. Vampires are immune to witchy powers.

Leo: Well, I'll get the holy water once I fill in the Elders about the new Source.

(He orbs out.)

Cole: New Source? There's a new Source?

Phoebe: Yeah, we think so.

Cole: Any idea who it is?

Phoebe: No, not yet.

Piper: Okay, let's just focus on finding Paige. So if you were undead, where would you be.

Phoebe: Cemetery.

Piper: Right. Let's go, we don't have a lot of time. And we've got a bunch of them to check out.

Cole: Whoa, Phoebe. I-I don't want you to go.

Phoebe: What?

Cole: Well, it's too dangerous. What happens if you faint again, but this time in the middle of a vampire attack.

Phoebe: Baby, that's not gonna happen.

Cole: How can you be sure? I don't wanna lose you.

Phoebe: I don't wanna lose Paige. I don't understand, weren't you just telling us that we had to save Paige?

Cole: Yeah, but that was before I heard all the facts. You need the power of three, I'm sure Paige is not gonna be in a rhyming mood.

Piper: So what do you suggest? That we let her spend eternity as a vampire?

Phoebe: She's still my sister. And that doesn't change because I happen to be sick. Or because I'm your wife.

(Phoebe leaves and Piper follows. Cole flames out.)

[Cut to Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole flames in. The faction leaders are sitting around a table.]

Cole: The vampires are trying to convert my wife's sister. A Charmed One. I'm interpreting this as an act of war against me.

Keats: Wait a second now, let's not overreact. Maybe this is some kind of misunderstanding.

Cole: I don't misunderstand anything. I want the vampires exterminated. Every last one of them.

Grimlock: The vampires multiply too fast. We could never get them all.

Cole: If we kill the queen they all die.

Keats: I've never heard that. What's your source.

Cole: Are you questioning my orders?

(Fire images show in Cole's eyes.)

Keats: No, of course not.

Cole: I want the queen. Dispatch your forces. Tell them to torture any vampire they see. Make them talk. But don't forget, my wife is out there too. Anyone lays a claw on her, will answer to me. Leave.

Demons: As you wish.

(They flame, smoke, etc out. Keats stays behind. Cole gives him a look and he shimmers out.)

Julie: What about the other sister? Are you gonna let her die with the queen? It would eliminate the Charmed Ones.

Cole: Phoebe would be devastated. But I wouldn't be.

[Scene: Vampire cave. The queen is munching on a person. He is screaming. She finishes and screws up her face.]

Rowan: Uh, sorry to interrupt you during dinner.

Queen: That's alright, I've had better. Is she here then?

Rowan: Just arrived.

(Paige walks in.)

Queen: She's perfect. She'll fit right in.

Rowan: I thought you'd like her.

(The queen walks over to Paige.)

Queen: Are you hungry, my dear.

Paige: Famished.

Queen: That's wonderful. Now for your first meal, I have two savoury victims in mind.

(Some female vampires walk over to Paige and place red robes over her shoulders.)

Female Vampire: Here you are.

Paige: Anything for you, my queen.

Queen: I want you to go back to your sisters, Paige, take a taste of your own blood. It will seal your conversion and turn them as well.

Rowan: That's genius. The power of three on our side. The Source will be no match for us.

Paige: My sisters are very powerful. They won't join us willingly. I don't think I can do it alone.

Queen: Oh my darling. Look around you. That's what families are for.

[Scene: A warehouse. Keats and a male vampire are there.]

Male Vampire: What are you doing here, Keats?

Keats: I have to get a message to the queen.

Male Vampire: Well, why don't you take it yourself?

Keats: Because someone might be following me. Tell her she needs to leave town, fast. The Source...

(Cole flames in.)

Cole: The Source is what? (The vampire turns into a bat and tries to fly away. Cole throws a fireball and the bat is incinerated.) Where's the queen, Keats? (Keats throws an electricity ball at Cole and Cole catches it. It burns out.) Ouch.

Keats: You can vanquish me if you want, but I'm not telling you anything.

Cole: Do you really think that vanquishing you is the worse I can do? (He waves his hand and Keats in engulfed in flames. Keats screams. Cole waves his hand and the flames disappear.) So let's try this again. Where's the vampire queen?

[Cut to the manor. Rowan is wandering around downstairs. Paige stands at the top of the stairs.]

Paige: They're not here.

Rowan: They must be looking for you.

Paige: Do-gooders. (She starts walking down the stairs.) I was hoping to get this over with.

Rowan: Just relax. You're only innocent once.

(She reaches the bottom of the stairs.)

Paige: But I'm starving. I feel like I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. (Rowan smiles.) What are you smiling at?

Rowan: I was just thinking of my first time.

Paige: Tell me about it.

Rowan: It was better than you can possibly imagine. Danger, excitement, the warm glow you feel afterwards. There's nothing like it.

Paige: How many have you had?

Rowan: I don't keep track. The faces all fade away, it's the taste you remember.

Paige: And what was that? Just fast food?

Rowan: Hardly. Just relax. Clear your mind. You are a hunter now. You have the ability to find your pray.

Paige: I don't understand.

Rowan: You will. Close your eyes. (She does so.) And focus.

Paige: I know where they are.

Rowan: You're a natural.

Paige: Tell the queen to expect company.

[Cut to the cemetery. A Grimlock is running through it. Piper and Phoebe are chasing it.]

Phoebe: Hey, wait! Wait! We just wanna talk... (The grimlock shimmers out.) to you.

Piper: What is going on? That is the forth demon tonight to run away from us.

Phoebe: Maybe word got out that we killed the Source.

Piper: The old Source.

Phoebe: Oh, you had to mention that didn't you.

Piper: I don't get it. We've been chasing demons all night, searching cemeteries all night and no freakin' vampires. (Phoebe holds her stomach.) This is ridiculous. We've gotta figure out something else before the sun comes up.

Phoebe: Whoaaa.

Piper: What's the matter? Are you okay?

Phoebe: Yeah, just a little dizzy. Those tombstones aren't actually moving are they?

Piper: Phoebe, this is not funny. Maybe this is more than just being run down. Maybe you're pregnant.

(Phoebe giggles.)

Phoebe: That is funny. Actually it's not so funny. I went to the drugstore, I got a test, I peed on the stick and I anxiously awaited th results in two minutes...

Piper: And?

Phoebe: And it was negative, thankfully.

Piper: Yeah, well, mine was too.

Phoebe: You thought you were pregnant?

Piper: For about a minute and a half.

Phoebe: Oh, honey, I am so sorry.

Piper: It's okay, it's no big deal.

Phoebe: Yes it is, to you it is. Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? I had no idea.

Piper: It's okay, I understand.

Phoebe: No, it's not okay. I left the manor, not the family. I still wanna be apart of your life. All of it.

Piper: You sure?

Phoebe: You come over here.

(They hug. A bat flies towards them and it lands on a tombstone. It turns into Paige.)

Paige: Aww, don't I get a hug?

Phoebe: Paige.

Piper: How did you find us?

Paige: We share the same blood, Piper. (She jumps off the tombstone.) I sniffed you out.

Piper: Paige, listen to me. (She walks towards Paige.) We can go back to the manor and we'll find something to change you back.

Paige: Nah.

(She pushes Piper away.)

Phoebe: Whoa, hold it.

(She holds a cross out in front of her.)

Paige: Why you gotta be like that? (Paige kicks the cross out of Phoebe's hand. They start fighting. Paige kicks Phoebe in the stomach and knocks her to the ground. Paige leans over her.) Now it's time we really bond as sisters.

(She goes to bite Phoebe but Leo orbs in and squirts holy water on Paige. She screams and runs away. Leo helps Phoebe up.)

Piper: Paige, we are just trying to help you, damn it.

(Paige stops.)

Paige: Catch me if you can.

(She turns into a bat and flies away.)

Phoebe: Leo, Leo, come on, orb.

(Leo orbs out with Phoebe and Piper.)

[Cut to the vampire cave. Leo orbs in with Piper and Phoebe. It's dark.]

Phoebe: Where are we? I can't see a thing.

Piper: Here.

(Piper turns on a flashlight and points it on the roof. Dozens of bats are hanging from it.)

Leo: Well, which one's Paige?

Piper: How should I know?

(The queen, Paige and Rowan walk in. The torches on the wall light up.)

Queen: Welcome to our family.

Commercial Break

[Scene: The vampire cave. Continued from before.]

Piper: Stay away from us or you'll get an eye full of holy water and a chest full of wood.

Queen: You'd only be delaying the inevitable. Now why can't we do this without a fight?

Phoebe: Paige, we're your sisters, you're not a vampire yet.

Queen: We're offering immortal life. An eternity together as sisters. Now isn't that preferable to death.

Piper: Are those our only two choices? Because I'd prefer the scenario where you die and we get to stay human.

(Phoebe slaps her on the arm with the cross.)

Queen: If you could've killed me, you would've done so already. We both know that.

Leo: We've gotta get out of here.

Phoebe: Not without Paige.

Rowan: Words will never make them understand.

Queen: No. But they will.

(The bats on the roof fly towards them.)

Piper: Incoming!

(The bats attack them.)

Phoebe: Leo, holy water!

(Leo starts squirting the holy water on the bats. Phoebe's cross and Piper's flashlight gets thrown across the room.)

Leo: Let's go!

(Rowan goes over and throws Leo across the room.)

Phoebe: Leo!

(Paige goes over and pins Piper to the wall and tries to bite her. Phoebe kicks Rowan and he grabs her leg and she falls to the ground. He tries to bite her. Suddenly, all the bats start going up in flames.)

Queen: No! My babies! (Leo pulls Paige off Piper. Phoebe gets away from Rowan and grabs the cross.) Come, before the Source kills us all.

(She helps Paige up and they run out of the cave. Phoebe stabs Rowan with the cross and he is vanquished.)

Leo: We've gotta get Paige.

[Cut to another part of the cave. Paige and the Queen run in. Cole appears behind them and knocks Paige out of the way. She falls with her back to Cole. The Queen stops and turns around.]

Queen: The Source. I should've bitten you.

Cole: Yeah, well, bite this.

(He throws a fireball at the queen and she is vanquished.)

[Cut to Piper, Phoebe and Leo. The bats falls from the roof in little balls of flames.]

Phoebe: What's going on?

Piper: The Queen must be dead. Paige!

[Cut to Cole and Paige. Paige is still lying on the floor. Cole walks behind her holding a fireball.]

Piper: Paige!

(Cole squashes the fireball.)

Cole: In-laws.

(He flames out. Piper, Phoebe and Leo walk in.)

Phoebe: Paige. (She races over to her.) Thank god you're alive.

(They help her up.)

Leo: Are you alright?

Paige: The Source.

Phoebe: The Source? What do you mean?

Paige: He was here.

Piper: Just now? You saw him?

Paige: Uh-uh.

Leo: The queen must've posed as a threat to him.

Phoebe: Well, that would explain why he wanted to kill her but why not us?

Piper: I don't know. Let's just count our blessings and get the hell outta here.

[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. The next morning. Paige is sitting at the table. Piper comes in.]

Piper: You're up early. Vampire nightmares.

Paige: Oddly enough, no. Just some other thoughts.

Piper: Any you want to share?

Paige: You wouldn't be interested.

Piper: Try me.

Paige: They're about Cole.

Piper: I'm listening.

Paige: Okay. Remember the guy that stood me up?

Piper: Uh, how could I? Never met him.

Paige: Yeah, you did actually. He was one of the vampires. When I first met him at the penthouse, he was there seeing Cole. Now I know what you're gonna say, maybe Cole didn't know he was a vampire and we should probably give him the benefit of the doubt, and you're right we should.

Piper: So then why do I get the sinking feeling that you might be onto something?

Paige: You do?

Piper: Well, it's just a lot of little things. Like, him not wanting you to orb in, him not wanting us to...

Paige: Save me?

Piper: Go after vampires. I mean, I'm not saying that he's a demon, okay, because we both know that's not possible.

Paige: We both know anything is possible.

Piper: Okay, but what if we're wrong? Then we lose Cole and Phoebe forever.

Paige: We're not wrong. Something is not right.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. The phone rings. Cole answers it.]

Cole: Hello?

Paige: Hi, it's Paige.

Cole: Paige, how are you feeling?

Paige: Human again thank god.

Cole: Yeah, thank god.

Paige: Uh, is Phoebe there?

Cole: She's still sleeping. Is it important?

Paige: I-I'll just call her later.

(He hangs up. Phoebe walks in.)

Phoebe: Who was that?

Cole: Oh, nobody. How are you feeling?

Phoebe: Better.

Cole: Good. Phoebe, I'm never gonna be okay with you chasing demons anymore, you can't change that.

Phoebe: And you can't change the fact that they're gonna keep coming after me. And that I have sisters who need me.

Cole: I understand.

Phoebe: Do you? Because yesterday it seemed like you didn't.

Cole: Well, I just don't want anything to happen to you. Ever. Is that so bad?

Phoebe: No.

Cole: I'll be at work.

(He kisses her on the cheek and leaves. The phone rings and Phoebe answers it.)

Phoebe: Hello? (listens) This is Phoebe Halliwell. (listens) Hi, doctor, did the test results come in? (listens) I'm... what?

(She faints.)

Doctor's Voice: I-I double checked the results myself. You're pregnant, Miss Halliwell. Congratulations. Miss Halliwell? Miss Halliwell? Hello?

End